#Does anyone else feel like they’re slowly losing their mind

[minty364]

DPXDC Prompt #97

The Justice League fought hard against the anti ecto acts but unfortunately it wasn’t enough and the laws were passed anyways but not before a clause was added to them that states the JL had the right to pull a ghost out of a facility of they had potential to work for them. When they see the potential hero Phantom is caught by the GIW they of course do their best to acquire him. Unfortunately the government sees Phantom as JL property now instead of his own person. Phantom seemed content being trapped on the watchtower and explained it was better than whatever the GIW was planning. Superman thinks something weird is going on with the ghost as when he supposedly went to bed in the room he was assigned he’d temporarily gain a heartbeat again. Constantine is just glad the young prince hasn’t decided to kill anyone in the US congress yet for passing such a ridiculous law. Batman’s adoption senses are tickling.

[leth-writes]

Some thoughts about Tim and the Batfam

SUMMARY: just thinking about Tim and the batfam

WARNINGS: 18+ as always on my blog, though the work is safe for work. Typical yandere shenanigans. HEAVY discussion of drugging and taking away of autonomy.

MASTERLIST: https://www.tumblr.com/leth-writes/757800060720496640/requests-open?source=share 

Requests are open!

Tim is a really interesting person, in general. I’m just obsessed with the idea of him drugging a darling, just keeping them all pliant and sleepy and curled up in his bed, even if he’s platonic. 

He spends a lot of time just…watching you, whether that be through cameras or in real life.

You never find the cameras, even though you know they’re there. If you asked him, he wouldn’t deny it. Why would he? There’s nothing you could do about it, and he honestly doesn’t trust your opinions on your own safety. Tim views you as quite innocent and naive, and that’s part of why he spends so much time building a little cocoon in the bed for you to curl up in, your soft snuffles just barely moving the light sheet he’s laid around you.

Just. UGH. I think at first he’d drug your food.

But you start noticing, and you start avoiding food. This sets the rest of the batfam off; is TIm not taking care of you properly?!

(They sometimes talk about you like a pet. It’s weird. You’ve learned not to mention it.)

In response, you’re tied down with soft satin straps and drugged out of your mind through an IV. You’re on an all-liquid diet, practically seeing stars. Tim doesn’t need you conscious or coherent, just safe from harm, after all.

I could even see him putting you in a temporary coma, at least until the heat from your kidnapping dies down. 

I can’t get  over the idea of you just. Trusting him so much, so naively, and he’s just. Fucking drugging your hot chocolate to get you to the manor, he knows if he doesn’t then Jason will and Jason won’t be as gentle about it.

UGH just imagine him doing those exercises every day with you to keep your muscles from atrophying AGHHHH

You wake up afterwards, it’s dark and your mouth is dry. You try to sit up- and you can’t. You’re too weak, too tired from the still-present drugs coursing through your veins. It’s then you see a bright flash, illuminating the corner and it’s FUCKING TIM JUST STANDING THERE

He uses his best camera, just dedicates it to pictures of you, creates an album.

He shows it to everyone else, they’re all cooing and aweing and you’re just sitting there like HELLO PLEASE LET ME LEAVE 🙁

Eventually he might even give you a bit of a choice. You can eat the food, or you can get an injection. When you take the injection you lose an entire day of time, and who knows what the FUCK happened? (nothing, Tim just. Spent most of the day working, occasionally taking the time to brush a hand over your face, just gently tracing your features.)

The others start to get annoyed Tim’s hogging you, and he gets you a wheelchair. You’re too weak, too drugged to be able to move yourself around, and he somehow manages to put some sort of thing on the wheels that lock if you try to go out the door. Like the fucking Grocery Carts.

He starts wheeling you around, letting you see the garden and the birds and Batcow. You spend a lot of time in the library with Alfred the cat curled in your lap, purring as you try to follow the plot of a simple book, your eyes too blurry to see the words properly.

Jason’ll read to you, he likes the bonding time. Plus, your eyes can’t really focus on anyone’s face too long, so he doesn’t have to worry about you being scared by the scars ripped into his skin by his death.

Cass’ll roll you into her studio, prop you against the wall, and just do a stunning routine. Unfortunately you can’t see it very well, and you clap really slowly because your hands feel like they’re filled with lead. She appreciates the effort.

Dick eventually takes over your stretches, though he does sometimes have to fight Bruce for the right. Both love helping you gently stretch out your limbs, admiring the shaking that only comes from intense effort. You’re cute, like a newborn lamb.

It’s infuriating watching Dick do all these complicated moves, while you can barely lift your head, but oh well, they’re so happy you’re here!!

Damian treats you like a younger sibling, even though you’re significantly older than him. He adores having this position of power over you, and abuses it to spend most of his time with you just. Showing you his animals. Titus is practically your emotional support dog at this point, and he trains Ace to be your guard dog.

Bruce loves having you curled up in the office, snoring slightly on the couch, as he slowly wades his way through work. He’ll throw a blanket over you, even as you whimper and shy away from the food he’s hand-feeding you. You aren’t allowed to feed yourself anymore, hell you can barely lift your hand to your mouth.

You eventually get used to spending all your time just. Hanging around, sleeping and letting everyone else do everything for you.

[shirefantasies]

Not to sound creepy but I’ve been rereading your LotR HCs sm lately, they’re all so cute 😭 could you maybe do a hc about Pippin (or the hobbits in general, your choice!!) with a super affectionate fem!partner? I feel like he’d absolutely lose his mind over that 💀 ooo or like a fic with the same thing? (with a fem!hobbit! reader, he needs a cute short hobbit gf to make him feel tall hehe) tysm!! Sorry this is so long 🥹

No I’ve gotten way longer you’re so good hun 😆 I decided to do all the hobbits because I love them all 💕

The Hobbits When You’re Very Affectionate (F!Reader)

Frodo

✧ At first, his affection is withdrawn more from you than from his male friends and family, by duty or comfort you know not.

✧ If anyone can draw him out of his shell, though, it is you. You who tuck him into his blankets in even the harshest conditions, hands resting over his for just a moment longer than necessary before you move on.

✧ Does he even deserve you? Such Frodo wonders as your hands gently work, loosening the collar of his shirt and gently massaging and treating his skin where the ring has begun irritating it. Burning it, even, and yet your hands are so gentle, loving. Silent as he is, Frodo watches you with awe and love, utterly moved.

✧ Frodo grows to crave that feeling of your hands holding his between them, your side becoming his instinctive refuge the moment any fear or pain takes him.

✧ One day he helps care for your wounds, and you pull him in and kiss the tip of his nose and for once the whispering of the ring seems a little quieter.

Sam

✧ Pointedly avoids affection from any other woman in hopes you take notice. We all know Sam is loyal to a fault and this is true even when he’s not sure if his feelings are returned.

✧ Will all but run to offer you his hand if you are to fall or otherwise need assistance, smiling shyly up at you when you squeeze his shoulder in thanks.

✧ Starved for touch, Sam absolutely melts and leans in when you stroke his hair, slowly and shyly drifting further into your lap as your hand travels.

✧ He always serves you first, noticing the way you rub his shoulder or ruffle his hair when he does.

✧ So in tune with your emotions and expressions, Sam becomes the first to offer you a hug whenever you’re down, appearing as if he can sense your need of it.

Merry

✧ Merry tends to reserve touching for a certain level of comfort, so seeing you express physical affection opens the gates for him to do the same.

✧ He gets bold, too, hand-feeding you morsels he'd like you to try at meals and giving you a big smile if your lips happen to meet his fingertips.

✧ Everyone else will know exactly what he’s thinking if they can see the massive smile he’s giving over the shoulder of one of your frequent hugs.

✧ You always reach for his hand before a fight, smiling at him as his fingers curl around yours, gripping you tightly like a lifeline.

✧ At dinners and firesides, Merry notices the way you look to him when you make jokes, nudging and elbowing him. He does it right back, adoring every shared moment he can have with you as if you're in a little bubble separate from the outside world. Not to mention the fact that he is the first person you look to- his heart!

Pippin

✧ Putty in your hands. Practically hovers around you waiting for the next touch.

✧ Takes initiative himself as well, doing things like offering you his arm to walk or even taking your hand under the claim that someone has to stick together, right?

✧ Forever volunteers to be the one to ride with you, giving the proverbial shit-eating grin at the feeling of your chest pressed to him and arms around him.

✧ You two nearly always end up falling asleep on each other, heads lolling together as another fellowship member, usually Boromir or Aragorn, shake their heads fondly and scoop you up to take you to your bedrolls.

✧ Tilts his head, baring his cheek and practically begging for one of the kisses you give him at any opportunity of your greeting or his pleasing you, smiling up at you with such innocent green eyes that how could you deny him?

Bilbo

✧ Goes beet red the first time you take his hand.

✧ He can already barely talk to women, having taken so much time to himself, but you? You who rests your arm across his shoulders as he attempts it? You who run your fingers down his arm to get his attention? How can Bilbo remember a word to you?

✧ Red as he may get, Bilbo will find ways to bring you things, feeling the way your hands touch if you take them from him. Or even just surprising you and enjoying how you excitedly take his hands, smiling at him as you thank him.

✧ Once you even fall asleep with your head upon his shoulder, soft hair tickling his neck and cheek, prompting him to look down upon your serene expression, heart soaring.

✧ He takes to moving hair out of your face if it is long enough, otherwise simply reaching up to return it to place or gently remove anything that might fall there.

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[rere9500-18]

Miles and his abandonment issues/not wanting to be alone.

Something I’ve always thought about Miles was that he has abandonment issues. This clip here is only a scene that shows apart of that.

Gwen’s “I’ll never see him again” makes him panic, with not seeing her or Peter or anyone of his spider friends for a year or so now. Hearing that from Gwen alone probably is what mainly encouraged him to jump through that portal and follow her. Because if that portal closed, there’s a big possibility he’d really never see her again.

Even in the second half of the video where Miles is walking to his dorm/new school and he walks past his old school with everyone he knew chatting it up with him as he passes. It’s clear while Miles attended that school, he’s been friends, or at least acquaintances, with a lot of the people there. He has and still does leave an impact on them, if it wasn’t noticeable by the amount of people simply happy to see him walk by.

At the end of it, the last girl asking how the new school is and that they all miss him, Miles responds with a “Wait… you miss me?” with a smile on his face. Now, I’ve seen some of the comments on that bit on YouTube and it’s mostly people thinking it’s Miles being cute with the ladies, but I don’t believe that’s what that was at all.

It’s clear to see Miles is cool with most people in that scene; of course keeping in mind he’s spent time with them at some point in his life if they are telling him they miss him. That little smile Miles had and the question that followed was an exact reaction to truly realizing that nobody at his old school has forgotten him, nor intend to, in theory, leave him anytime soon. It’s that warm feeling of knowing that maybe you truly do have people by your side. It’s actually a little intense with Miles since I think he sort of needs that feeling more than you’d usually need it.

Whether it be his mom, his dad, his uncle (RIP Uncle Aaron 😔), or the spiders who he thought were his friends.

That’s why it hurts so much when they’re taken away from him. Either by death or because of needing to pick a side. Because that warm feeling slowly turns into dread that no one’s by his side anymore. That the people he love may not love him anymore. That he may have to face something he’s been trying to hide from: being alone.

Because being alone means you’ll have no one to care for. Being alone means no one’s gonna give you their warmth when you’re in the freezing cold. Being alone means you’ll be left in the dark by yourself with no one to encourage you to break out and run free.

Miles followed Gwen to avoid having to be alone, like he was for the past year after she and the other spider-people left. Because, while it doesn’t make it right to follow someone and then go invisible to see what they’re doing, he wouldn’t have ever known this would have been the last time he’d see his best friend if he hadn’t followed.

At the end of the movie though, I feel that Miles is put at an even harder spot due to him trying to prevent his father’s death. He wanted to be with the rest of the spider people so badly that it blinded him to the fact it wasn’t all it seemed to be cracked out to be. At the end of the movie, all Miles wants is to go home. Yes, it hurts to lose everyone you’ve worked so hard to see, but in his mind, if the people you call your friends can’t understand that it’s fucked up to let an innocent person die, his dad no less, for a so-called ‘greater good’, then maybe that warm feeling of them being by his side isn’t what he wants right now.

Miles feels betrayed by Peter B., Gwen, and most importantly, by himself because he soon realizes that he was so determined not to lose them again, that he never realized he’s lost himself in the process. Gwen, Peter, and everyone else basically said (through their actions) that they’ll never see Miles again. Who is Miles to stop them?

He doesn’t care what happens afterwards. He just wants to go home, HIS home, and stop the one thing that will truly make him deeply and utterly alone.

The death of Aaron and Miles being Spiderman only encourages Miles to want to do these things. He wanted to surround himself with people he can trust, but he soon realizes those relationships can die, either by actual death or by lies and secrets.

Idk. This is all just my view of what Miles feels even in Into the Spiderverse. If you’ve finished reading all this, idk; eat a cookie or something.

[l0serloki]

Birthday

Your birthday with Val Men!

(Cypher, Sova, Yoru, Chamber)

A/N : AM I REALLY BACK?? ARE U SEEING A POST FROM THE LOSERLOKI?? the world may never know.

masterlist

Cypher : 

Cypher knows your birthday. You hadn’t even mentioned it to anyone and yet the moment you woke up he greeted you with a gift.

The gift itself was something you had been looking at on amazon.. How did he know this? The world may never know.

“Happy Birthday little bug. I hope today is well for you.” 

He doesn’t let anyone else know of your birthday but he does spoil you throughout the day with your favorite snacks and drinks. Other agents start to think he’s slowly losing his mind.

As you opened your bedroom door you let out a squeal. The last thing you were expecting to see was Cypher standing in front waiting for you. 

“Good morning and happy birthday.” He shuffles a gift into your hands and your eyes widen.

“I didn’t tell you it was my birthday today? Also were you waiting here all morning?” You’re not disappointed with the gift, far from it, but you still were a bit shocked.

“Don’t worry about that. I am sure you will like your gift. And I went to buy your favorites. Everything should be to your liking.” You could hear the grin in Cypher’s voice as you stared down at the item you had been wanting for a while. You shouldn’t be surprised, you knew he had quite the web of information on people. While it should probably perturb you at the least, you were just happy to not have to spend your birthday in silence.

“Thank you Cypher.”  You give him a hug which he returns quickly, his fingers tapping at your back. 

“Anytime.”

Sova : 

Sova tries to make something really thoughtful. Like a sweater or a plush. He asks Omen to help him knit something.

He will try to get everyone together with some food and drinks. He wants you to have a memorable day!

If they’re too much though he will automatically notice and whisk you away. As long as you’re happy he is too!

“Happy Birthday!” The agents cheered as Sova led you into the dining hall. There was decorations around and an array of gifts set out to the side. Sova gave you a soft smile as his hand rubbed at your back.

“You guys..!” Your eyes widened as everyone shuffled you towards the table. You could feel tears prick at your eyes at the amount of effort everyone put in just for you.

“Sova did a lot of work to get this altogether! Don’t thank us, we just showed up.” Phoenix shoots Sova a wink as everyone begins to settle down for food. You look next to you as Sova puts his hands up in a ‘it’s nothing’ motion and blushes. You can’t help but laugh at the adorable face and give his hand a quick squeeze.

“Thank you Sova. You’re too kind.”

“It’s really nothing. I hope to make your day the best. You deserve it.”

Yoru : 

Expect teasing. Even if he does care, he will not show it easily.

“You definitely look old. I’m sure you’ll be able to use your wrinkles as a purse next year.” 

He will get you something that’s more suited towards his hobbies but he means well! 

“Since you always bother me about the motorcycle rides being cold.” He shrugs as he gives you a new motorcycle jacket. He even added matching patches to twin with him. (Not that he would admit).

He will buy you dinner as well but don’t mention it or he will get grumpy.

“What is this Yoru?” You raised an eyebrow with a grin as he handed you a thick leather jacket. His cheeks tinged with red as he rolled his eyes.

“Don’t go getting a big head. Just because I got you one thing for your birthday does not mean you are special. I am just tired of hearing you complain about how cold it is on the motorcycle.” Yoru pushes the garment into your hands and you notice the matching patches on the side. Your heart swells at the sentiment. You knew he wasn’t great with wording his emotions but he definitely put thought into this.

“You’re too kind ‘Ru. We should use it tonight to get dinner.” You add with hope and he just sighs.

“Yeah yeah.. I guess it would only be smart. Be outside by eight or I will leave you.” He grunts as he moves to leave.

“And Ru?” You add and the man turns around. “Thank you.” 

Yoru’s face goes even more red than you thought was humanly possible as he tries to adjust his hair to keep cool.

“Whatever.”

Chamber : 

Chamber likes to be coordinated. He’s set up lots for you both to do throughout the day. Unless you specifically tell him not to weeks before.

He will give you a few gifts throughout the day, just small things. Trinkets that reminded him of you or stuff he thought you would like. 

He will take you both out to a nice lunch and let you shop, saying it’s on him if you see anything you like. (It takes stress off of him to make sure you get the best gift.)

“Happy Birthday, my dear. I hope today is up to your standards. If there is anything I can do to make it better.. Don’t hesitate.”

“Is your food good? Do you want more to drink?” Chamber says quickly as he watches you eat. You can’t help but chuckle at his anxious attitude, reaching for his hand.

“It’s perfect, just calm down and enjoy your meal. If something was wrong I would tell you.”

Chamber seems to relax a bit more as he leans back in his chair and squeezes your hand.

“I only want the best for you. It’s not every day that it is your birthday after all.” He hums and you can’t help but smile. He’s always so thoughtful and kind. Despite what the many agents back at base thought. Not that their opinion on him had ever mattered.

“Thank you honey. Today has been great.” 

Great was an understatement. He let you run around to your favorite stores, smiling and nodding along to anything you found of interest. He spoiled you with small gifts and snacks, and now such a fine dinner. 

“Anything for you.” He gave you a soft smile as his lips brushed your knuckles. You felt your heart jump at the small action and you let out a small laugh.

“Eat your damn food.” You wave off the affection and he only chuckles.

“So defensive. But whatever you want.” He shrugs as he digs back into the food. It was safe to say your birthday was a success.

[buttered-milky]

Maedhros goes crazy hard to me because yes he has a villain arc but he also has a suicidal ideation arc. You watch him have fewer and fewer living clues as the book goes on. You watch him have passive SI that gets more and more dangerous until it’s not passive anymore. You watch him slowly implode.

[Silly little essay ahead and we’re talking about suicide so be mindful. Feel free to add your own thoughts!]

Like he starts out pretty okay. The decision to go parlay with Morgoth on his own could actually be argued to just be stupid heroism and nothing else. He’s got things to live for. There are a considerable amount of people who hate him, yes, but there are also a considerable amount who admire and/or rely on him. Also, most of his family is alive and (debatably) well at this point.

And even on Thangorodrim, he doesn’t give up his spirit like we know elves can do. He begs Fingon to kill him, but he never just…lets himself die. There’s a difference between wishing you were dead and planning out suicide—a huge difference. He’s still got ambivalence, and he’s still resilient as hell (literally).

But things are getting worse. He decides to hold Himring. Which is the closest to Angband. The most dangerous. Because he doesn’t want anyone else to get hurt, or because he doesn’t care if he himself does—yet there are still reasons to be alive.

Most of his family is alive, too, and Fingon is anyways, and he’s done something good abdicating. He’s building himself for war, sure, but at least he is still capable of good?

And then the Nirnaeth.

He loses Fingon. He still has his closest family alive, at least, but they are all capable enough of committing atrocities with him. They don’t need to rely on him so much anymore—and none of the other Noldor are.

Maedhros is resilient, but there is less and less to be resilient for.

There’s the Second Kinslaying. He loses many of the few people who could at least understand him. He loses two elf twins who were his one chance at redemption. He’s so tired. There is almost nothing left, anymore, besides the Oath. There’s the Third Kinslaying. He’s lost all but one of his brothers. He gets two more twins he doesn’t even want because they are living reminders of his prior failure. He is still alive, though. Even though probably everyone in the world but Maglor wants him dead, he’s still alive.

And then the Valar take the Silmarils.

Maedhros has this beautiful argument with Maglor. I’ve seen people talk about how flawed Maedhros’ points are during that argument and I raise you this: they’re not designed to be logical. They’re designed to be hopeless. And they’re perfect at that.

Let me tell you something. I don’t know how many of you have argued with a very high risk suicidal person about reasons to live, but I have. You can go on for hours and someone who is truly hopeless will fight you tooth and nail to convince you everything that could be wrong is and that the world is nothing but hell. Doesn’t happen all the time—but there are people who do this. The arguments aren’t designed to be logical. They’re designed to be hopeless. They’re designed to convince you by any means possible that death is the only answer, even if that means is despair.

And honestly, the arguments aren’t even for you. This is just what this person has been thinking. It is justification. No one wants to make a decision they know they’ll regret. So despair as a forgone conclusion must be justified. There is no ambivalence anymore. There are no living clues. There’s only dying.

Maedhros is putting all his resilience and all his stubbornness to work convincing himself and others that killing himself is the only way out.

.

Hope couldn’t kill you on Thangorodrim, Maedhros, and nothing but yourself can kill you now because you’ve made yourself into something desperately strong. Nothing but despair can kill you now. You were holding up hope like a crucifix against despair and now you can only see the cross to die on.

Maedhros, you beautiful fucking tragedy.

.

We talk about his heroism slowly turning to villainy. The heroism is thinly veiled SI. You have to remember he is the narrative incarnation of despair. Suicide is the perfect end for him because despair and hopelessness is the one thread running through all SI. Despair is the one thing you can count on to always beg you to die, and it’s what ends up killing a guy who was otherwise unkillable.

[omkookie]

🩷 : Oh, sweet. I haven't really thought much about Yandere Licht yet (⁠・⁠∀⁠・⁠)

⌈ ⚠️ 𝐂𝐎𝐍𝐓𝐄𝐍𝐓 𝐖𝐀𝐑𝐍𝐈𝐍𝐆𝐒 ⌉ Yandere themes, imprisonment. // F!MC.

His depravity is quite striking. He has a twisted moral compass where he's stuck in a debasement, Which will never fail to leave anyone dumbfounded. Licht's way of thinking is quite simple, simple for anyone who is crazy to understand.

Yandere Licht doesn’t have a normal sense of right or wrong. He only knows what his right is, and what his wrongs are. Screw whatever people may find immoral, if he deems it to be good, then it’s good.

Licht slowly manipulates his beloved MC into loving him. He shares his sad backstory with her, and then begins to monopolise her when she feels sad for him. He starts by taking up all of her free time and isolating her from everyone else. Now that she knows how he’s been abused and how hurt he is, who is she to abandon him or push him away? She’s too kind to do anything like that.

Slowly, Licht etches himself into her everyday life so that she doesn’t pick up on what he’s doing. When he finally has her fully isolated from others, he kidnaps her and keeps her inside of a mansion in his territory. The mansion is heavily guarded, She can’t escape if he has his men patrolling the grounds at all times, and she can’t leave him if he’s by her side 24/7.

Licht constantly guilt trips her by gaslighting and then blaming her for certain things. She wants to leave? Does she plan to abandon him or point a sword at him like his mother did? How could she do that when all he ever did was try his best for her. He just wants what’s best for her, and he tries so, so hard to please her… He’s not taking her freedom away, He’s protecting her. She confessed she loves him, so he’s just making sure that she’s safe… He’s a prince, Just by loving him she’s in danger. What if somebody tries targeting her? Doesn’t she know what happened to all of the women who got involved with Rodolite's royal family?

He’ll once again recall what happened to his mother for her.

His darling feels like she’s walking with shackles on because of how he’s constantly glued to her side and so obsessive.

Licht doesn’t hesitate to hurt others, He manipulates and twists things so that he always gets what he wants. He uses his title as a prince, and almost no one in Rhodolite does anything to rescue MC because they’re all under the impression that she’s in love with him, and has decided to spend her life with him. No one knows what Licht is really like, he’s far too sly and good at tricking people. The only one who now knows the real Licht is MC… But being isolated from everyone except him takes its mental strain on her, and she nearly loses her mind when he locks her away as punishment and starts ignoring her.

But, no matter how unstable MC may get because of her broken down psyche, he’ll never let her kill herself so she better not get any wild ideas. He loves her, so she’ll stay with him forever.

There's a loyal dog still waiting for an opportunity to speak to MC, That's becoming more suspicious of Licht each day he doesn't... So there's still hope for her to one day escape. if only she can get a single note to that dog.

[infinitegest]

Storage Closet

Horny Plot Device University!

[this longer story is a bit of a prequel to Freshman Dorms II, another HPDU story. starring Quark (they/them) and Vic (they/them), two freshman goons at their dream college]

“This is the worst!”

“What!?”

“I said THIS IS THE WORST!”

The homecoming crowd was deafening.

“It was your idea to come here!”

“Well, I’ve changed my mind!”

A ball moved from one side of the field to the other, and the deafening crowd somehow became more deafening.

“___________!”

“____!?” Quark shouted back.

Vic gestured for Quark to follow. The two of them stumbled past a row of people and beelined for the exit. Finally, with a couple layers of concrete between them and the volume of the game, Vic spoke up.

“I thought that, you know, starting college, new year, new me, maybe the new Vic likes school spirit and football games.”

“And does New Vic magically like meaningless rituals and being bombarded by noise and lights?”

“No, New Vic does not.”

Quark snorted and bumped Vic with their hip.

“Am I the only one who’s impressed at how… flat, all the cheerleaders are?”

Vic cocked an eyebrow. “I bet they have some sort of agreement or contract or something saying that they can’t be pregnant during big games, or maybe the pregnant ones sit it out?”

“Or maybe they save it so after the game, if they win, they can give the team a celebratory bang, and if they lose, they can give them a pity fuck.”

“Is that how people think? Sounds kinda depressing to me.”

“Idk dude, just keep an eye out and see if they’re still flat after tonight.”

They smirked at each other, and walked quietly for a moment.

“So you don’t want to watch the game. What do you want to do?”

“Dunno. We could wander around, explore campus while everything but the stadium’s abandoned?”

“Cool.”

Vic gave Quark a side eye. “So… you were watching the cheerleaders?”

“I mean, yeah. They’re hot, and I can focus on the hotness instead of being worried that they’re going to go into labor or keel over from some Mystery Pregnancy-Related Ailment. Is that a thing? Do people do that?”

“No idea. I haven’t seen anyone on campus keel over from an MPRA, and if you were going to see it anywhere…”

“It’d be here. Yeah.”

“Would you want to try it out?”

“… What?”

“Pregnancy. The whole ‘magically pregnant’ thing.”

Quark stopped. “I mean… yeah, being here, you think about it…”

“You think about it, you see other people swelling up, you watch the cheerleaders and discuss their lack of big, bouncing bellies with, dare I say it, a note of disappointment?”

Quark squinted at Vic. “What are you playing at.”

“Just wondering. The cheap tuition isn’t the only reason the two of us are here, right?”

“Fuck off with the vagaries. Say what you wanna say.”

Vic stepped a little closer than Quark was expecting. “Quark, you’re cool. You’re badass. On top of that, you’re extremely hot.”

They grinned. “Tell me something I don’t know.”

“And I really like you. And if you want to try the whole… whatever is up with this school… I wouldn’t mind being the one you try it with.”

Their faces hovered closer together. Slowly, they leaned into a kiss, uncomfortably hesitant at first, then growing warmer and warmer to each other. Quark grabbed Vic’s hips and nudged up against them, feeling the growing stiffness between Vic’s thighs and realizing that they really, really wanted that inside of them.

They broke apart, breathing heavily and shuddering.

“You want to get me pregnant?”

Vic nodded. “You want me to get you pregnant?”

Quark nodded vigorously.

“Okay then. Let’s knock you up.”

“Wait, like, here and now? Do we wanna go back to the dorms?”

“We could, but…” They looked at each other. Neither of them wanted to wait that long.

“I saw a storage closet back there?”

“Gross. Cliché. Let’s do it.”

“After you, m’theydy.”

“Aaaaaaand just for that I’m gonna find someone else to knock me up, have fun jerking off in a closet!”

Laughing, Vic grabbed Quark as they started walking away and pulled them back. “Ok, I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’ll never say that again.”

“Good, cos if you do, I will smother you with my pregnant belly.”

“Well, we’ve gotta give you that belly first, huh?”

They stumbled over each other, piling into the closet and closing the door behind them.

Quark’s voice in the darkness. “Great. Where’s the fucking light?”

There was the sound of Vic pulling a chain, and the incandescent light flickered on. Quark slowly looked up at Vic, inches away.

They attacked each other, almost tripping several times as clothes started piling up and getting tangled on the floor. Vic wore more layers than Quark, so there was a moment when Quark, stripped to just a black tank top and their socks (no homo), was grinding impatiently against Vic (who was still carefully undoing some clasps) chanting “Get me pregnant get me pregnant comeoncomeongetmepregnant—“

Finally, Vic grabbed hold of Quark, who climbed Vic like a tree, slamming their hips together and fucking like their lives depended on it.

“Come on, come in me, put your babies in me, make me huge and swollen like those cheerleaders are all gonna be!”

Vic slammed Quark against the back wall, pushing as deep into them as they could go, making Quark gasp, their eyes going wide. “I can’t wait to feel you grow, I can’t wait to feel you swelling up, your belly heavy with babies… oh god, I’m going to cum in you…”

“Do it, god I’d love that, I want to be so big I need a wheelchair to get around!”

“You think you can handle a belly that big?”

Quark grabbed Vic’s face and looked into their eyes. “Yes. I want that. I want that so fucking much, I feel so empty right now and I need you to fill me up.”

“Good, because I’m about to cum.”

“Oh fuck, oh F U C K”

They came together, shuddering and clutching, nails digging into skin, before collapsing to the floor, Quark on top of Vic, Vic still inside of Quark.

Vic felt something press against their abs. “Hey, sit up. I think…”

Bleary eyed and grinning, Quark sat up, and almost immediately started grinding on Vic again.

“Quark, wait—oh shit, that feels good—your belly—“

“Knock me up, I need you to fuck me full of babies,” Quark murmured, blissful and unthinking.

“Quark—oh, fuck—Quark, you’re getting big—“ As Quark rode them, Vic put one hand on their bouncing hips and one on their midriff, where their tanktop was quickly losing ground to the growing bump.

“Huh? Oh,” Quark finally noticed their changing body. “Oh fuck. Oh, holy fuck, you got me PREGNANT.” Mad with lust, they started bouncing furiously on Vic’s member.

“Oh, Quark—that’s the hottest thing I’ve ever seen—I put a baby in your belly,” Vic said, rubbing Quark’s swelling belly, the tanktop stretching thin.

“Do it again, do it AGAIN, fuck, my belly’s so big—“

“Fuck, you’re so good at this— I’m coming again—“

They both moaned as Quark felt Vic exploding, filling them with even more baby batter. Quark slid off, cradling their full-term belly, and felt it start to shift.

Vic was panting, exhausted. “That was amazing, holy shit, I don’t think I have any left in me…”

“Vic, I’m growing again.”

Quark saw something shift in Vic’s eyes when they looked at the expanding stomach now dominating Quark’s lower half. Their breathing deepened, and they sprang erect once again.

“Wait, are you ready to go already?”

“I think so, yeah.”

“I’m already so pregnant…”

“True. But, consider this: I could get you even more pregnant.”

“That’s a good point, I like that point.” Quark grinned and leaned back, spreading their legs wide.

Vic crawled over to them, and, leaning down close, the still-swelling pregnant mound pressing against their abs, they growled: “Let’s see how many babies we can fit in that belly.”

20 minutes later

The belly gently rolled back and forth, jostling its passengers, ensuring they stayed awake and active. Nearly a dozen babies squirmed inside, jockeying for wiggle room.

Quark was bent over, their gargantuan stomach stacked on top of a box of paper towels, while Vic worked on adding more to their ever-growing womb from behind.

“God, I’m still growing, I’m still growing from the last one and you’re putting more in me, I’m never going to stop growing…” Quark said, deliriously happy and horny.

“I love your belly so much,” Vic groaned, “I love feeling you swell up bigger and bigger knowing it’s because of how much I’ve fucked you, FUCK” They slammed into Quark, making every part of them jiggle and adding more babies to the growing process.

“Holy… shit…” Quark weakly patted the bulging orb that had been a cute six-pack less than an hour ago.

“Fuck… I think I’m finally done… Jesus, you’re huge…” Vic pulled back and wiped the sweat from their face.

Quark giggled, and, straining to lift their belly more than an inch above the ground, they turned to face Vic. Or, they tried to face Vic.

“Er… I don’t think I have room to turn around.”

“Hm. That’s okay, I’ll help you get dressed and open the door for you, and you can back out.”

“Insert obligatory truck backing up noises here.”

“Nice. Quality joke.”

Vic managed to roll Quark’s leggings up their shaking legs, giving their hips and ass a squeeze along the way.

“Okay. Beep beep time. Let me out.”

As Vic held the door open, Quark slowly waddled backwards, careful not to bash their womb against any shelves.

Then came the doorframe.

“Uhm. Hm. Vic?”

“Yeah, that’s… a problem.”

“Yeah, you got me so pregnant I can’t fit through the door.”

“Damn.”

“Yeah. Damn.” Quark looked over their shoulder at their accomplice. “You’ve made my belly so huge I can’t fit through doors. Vic?”

Vic, who seemed lost in thought staring at Quark’s backside, snapped out of it to look up and see Quark’s face, heavy-lidded, and flushed with arousal. They gently wiggled their rear, the lower curve of their crowded belly visible between their legs.

“You filled me up with so many big, heavy babies…”

“I shouldn’t have bothered putting your pants back on, should I.”

“Of course not, you idiot.”

Vic gently pushed Quark back into the closet and set to work bringing Quark up to a full baker’s dozen. Down the hall, an extremely tired-looking custodian radioed the admin building, letting them know of an impending situation.

[drarrypotterrenaissance]

So Good I Could Cry

I saw this post, and knew immediately that I had to write a fic for it. This is my first fic above a T rating, so it was written in one sitting before I could lose my nerve. What follows is the softest, most gentle M-rated fic I think you can find. Additionally, I am very ace, and thought that I was writing Harry as allosexual, until Vukovich told me how much ace Harry came through in this fic, so please take a moment to laugh at my naïvety and then to thank @vukovich for being a wonderful beta reader and for ensuring that I tagged this properly 💜

Words: 1,828 Rating: Mature Summary: There was a tumblr post asking who in your ship cries during sex, and I knew my answer immediately - Harry cries during, and Draco cries afterwards in secret. Read on ao3 here

It’s all so good. Everything has been so good, for months now, that Harry can’t really figure out why it took so long for him to finally ask Draco out. He can’t figure out why multiple years of amazing friendship didn’t turn into dating and kissing sooner, not when it only took him six months to realise that his feelings for Draco weren’t just platonic. He can’t figure out why it took them so long to get here, but he’s beyond glad that they finally have.

Harry’s lost count of how many dates they’ve gone on (although Draco probably knows; he’s obsessive like that, and Harry loves that he knows that about him), or how many times they’ve kissed, or how many scorching looks Draco has given him from the other side of the room. They’ve been taking things slowly, per Draco’s wishes, although Harry hasn’t minded, and has, in fact, been delighted to watch Draco open up to him even more with every dinner and every kiss, like a flower opening so slowly into the morning sun.

Now, though, they’re here, in Harry’s bed with Draco pink-cheeked and sweaty over him, for the very first time. And it’s so good, just like everything else, just like Harry knew it would be, because it’s Draco here with him. Draco’s nerves have dissipated, and he’s radiant, leaning down to kiss Harry, making soft little noises that Harry could listen to forever, beaming and laughing, pressing his eyes shut even as his mouth falls open. There’s a strand of hair that’s come free from its queue, falling alongside Draco’s flushed cheeks, and Harry is overjoyed to watch it sway back and forth, curling up into a gentle ringlet, because that means that Draco must secretly straighten his hair, and Harry knows this now, an intimate little secret to discover even in the midst of this intimate act itself. They’ve been together for so long tonight that Draco’s hair straightening charms have worn off, and he’s comfortable enough with Harry that he hasn’t bothered to refresh them, and now Harry gets to know that there’s a wave to Draco Malfoy’s pin-straight hair, and no one else gets to have that secret.

He reaches a hand up and twirls a finger through Draco’s hair, then cups his face to simply admire him for a moment. Harry doesn’t think that anyone could ever really look attractive during sex. It’s too sweaty and red-faced and slightly gross for anyone to actually look hot the whole way through, but Draco right now is so lovely, so captivatingly beautiful, both for his red-flushed, sweaty face and for how open he is in this moment of vulnerability.

“I love you,” Harry says, before he can stop himself. He’s said it before, a few times, and he’s certain that Draco feels the same way, even if he hasn’t said it back yet. Still, Harry hadn’t wanted to pressure him right now, hadn’t wanted to risk making Draco think that he had to say it back to him at this moment because of everything else. Draco beams, though, and kisses him fiercely, and somewhere in the middle, Harry tips over into ecstasy, coming back to himself moments later with tears wet on his cheeks and more still streaming from his eyes.

They kiss some more after, and then just hold each other close, drifting in and out of sleep for a while. Draco doesn’t say anything about the tears that took a few minutes to stop, although Harry thinks he’d be well within his rights to. Honestly, who cries during sex because their boyfriend secretly has curly hair? Instead, Draco just kisses him, and runs his thumbs under Harry’s eyes to wipe away the tears, and kisses him again while fresh ones appear.

When Harry wakes up an unknown amount of time later, he can still feel the salt, tacky on his cheeks. He passes a hand over his eyes, then scrubs it across his face, before reaching out to pull Draco close to him once more. His hand meets nothing but empty sheets, still warm from Draco’s body, but rapidly cooling. And Harry knows, because he knows Draco, that he’ll be back soon. He hasn’t gone far, nor has he gone for good, and Harry is sure of it even before he sees the light shining from under the ensuite door. If Harry could be patient for two minutes, Draco would surely return to him, eager to reclaim his place next to Harry in their warm bed, and to press his always freezing toes in between Harry’s legs. But Harry’s in love with him, and everything is so good when they’re together, and he doesn’t want to be separated even for the next two minutes, and so he gets up and pads over to the bathroom door, knocking gently to preserve the quiet of the pre-dawn stillness.

“Draco?”

There’s no answer, but Harry can hear the sink running, so he pushes the door open a crack and says Draco’s name again, sees his bare back stiffen slightly at the sound of Harry’s voice. He splashes water on his face once, then turns around with a towel pressed to his cheeks, patting himself dry even as Harry steps into his space and puts his hands gently around Draco’s waist. Draco leans into the touch, but doesn’t respond in kind, continuing to dry his face, the towel now an obstacle, keeping Harry from kissing him like he so desperately wants to. Instead, Harry slips his pinkies into the waistband of the boxers Draco has put back on, and gently smooths his thumbs up and down Draco’s sides.

“Hi,” he says, still making an effort to be quiet for no reason.

“Hello,” Draco whispers back, the towel still obscuring his face and muffing his voice slightly.

“Is everything alright?” Harry gives one of Draco’s hips a gentle squeeze, and Draco sways slightly into his hand.

Draco nods, but doesn’t say anything, and the towel is still hiding his face, which means Harry is forced to judge by Draco’s stiff shoulders how much of a lie his nod was. Harry slowly pulls the towel down, revealing Draco much as he was only an hour before; his face is red and blotchy, his hair is mussed, and his eyes are closed. Unlike before though, his face is now wet with tears instead of perspiration, and Harry feels a stab of pain go through his heart at the idea that something is marring this perfect night for Draco.

“Hey, what’s wrong?” he asks, moving his hands to cup Draco’s face, almost able to see the same motion echoed between them from earlier in the evening.

Draco shakes his head, and another tear falls to meet Harry’s thumb before being wiped away.

“Nothing. I’m fine, truly I am. I don’t know why I’m crying.”

Harry wipes away another tear and tilts Draco’s chin up gently until he meets his eyes. He can’t quite parse the emotions that he sees going across Draco’s face, but he can understand, at least in part, how Draco must be feeling. Tonight was a big step for both of them, their first time together, but it was Draco’s first time ever, and Harry feels like his chest might burst with love for Draco for letting him share this moment with him. Some of that must be reflected on his own face, because Draco gives him a watery little smile and tries again to explain.

“I’m fine, it’s just…” ‘A lot’ finishes Draco’s voice in Harry’s head, but he remains silent and gives Draco the chance to say the words for himself. “A lot,” he says, with another small smile, and then his lower lip begins to quaver again. “It’s all been really good!” he hastens to add. “And I’m fine!” he says, more tears splashing down his face. “It’s just a lot, all at once.”

Harry nods his head, wipes Draco’s tears, and kisses him. It’s not one of their best kisses, Draco sniffles in the middle of it, and Harry’s pretty sure that there’s snot in his mouth, but it’s still absolutely perfect, because it’s the two of them standing together in the middle of Harry’s bathroom at some wretchedly early hour in the morning.

When they pull apart, Harry swipes his thumbs across Draco’s cheeks again and says, “I get it.” At Draco’s raised eyebrow - and, oh, what a joy, to see Draco’s dearly loved prickly little personality pushing through his tears - Harry reminds him, “I was crying earlier tonight, too.” He shrugs. “It can be overwhelming sometimes, but that doesn’t mean it wasn’t amazing.”

Draco scrubs the towel across his face once more, then fits himself to Harry’s body, pressing his face into the spot between his neck and shoulder that he had been kissing earlier that evening. Draco’s nose presses into a tender area, and Harry thrills to consider that he might have a bruise there in the morning, and can’t wait to avoid all of Draco’s attempts to heal it with magic, instead letting it linger for days as a reminder of tonight. Maybe, he thinks nonsensically, he could even get a tattoo there, to preserve it for all eternity.

“I woke up and wanted to wash my hands,” Draco says out of nowhere, the words slightly muffled against Harry’s skin, “and when I saw myself in the mirror, I just. I don’t know. I guess I thought that maybe I would look different, afterwards. Which, I know that’s silly, but I wasn’t sure what I was expecting to see. And I couldn’t tell if I looked different or not. All I could think about was how I must have looked to you-”

“Absolutely gorgeous,” Harry interrupts, and Draco laughs a little before pressing on.

“And then I was thinking about how you looked at me, and, and, and you love me-”

“I do,” Harry says,

“-and,” Draco’s fists tighten against Harry’s back, and he can feel the material of the towel Draco is still holding move against his spine. Draco pulls back slightly, and looks Harry in the eye. He’s a bit of a mess, with his cheeks a chaotic pink and his eyelashes spiky from tears, but once again Harry is certain that he’s never seen anyone more lovely, “and, Harry, I love you too,” he says, and possibly some other words after that, but those are lost into Harry’s mouth, kissing him thoroughly before lifting him up, letting Draco wrap his legs around Harry’s waist, and carrying him back to bed.

When Harry wakes up the next morning, it’s with Draco curled around him, his face pressed against Harry’s chest, and the bathroom hand towel, which Harry now realises is the novelty Celestina Warbeck one that Draco got him as a joke, squashed under his armpit. It’s so strange, and so perfect, that Harry wants to laugh. It’s all just really good.

[infiniteeight8]

Omega Tony x Alpha Stephen, except, Tony is the dominant one in bed.

Ooh, I like it. For anyone who enjoys this particular A/B/O dynamic and is flexible on fandoms, I recommend Claimed by @cupcakefoggy (Thirteen Lives fandom).

Have an entire sex scene under the cut. It’s hard to resist sub!Stephen. lol.

-

Stephen has barely cleared the bedroom threshold when Tony grabs him by the front of his robes and all but drags him over to the bed. Stephen laughs, unresisting. “I’m quite willing to cooperate, you know,” he teases.

Tony scoffs. “You like it when I manhandle you.” He begins quickly and expertly stripping Stephen out of his robes.

Stephen flushes, because it’s true. Stephen is no slouch, physically, but Tony keeps in shape to operate a forge, not to mention the armor, which requires a certain degree of strength to move no matter how well the nanotech assists Tony. The thought that Tony, an omega, is more than capable of holding down Stephen, an alpha, goes right to Stephen’s cock every time.

“To what do I owe today’s eagerness?” Stephen asks, not that it’s unusual. Tony has a higher non-heat libido than anyone else he’s ever been with. It’s a little intoxicating, being wanted that much.

“I got stuck,” Tony says. He leaves Stephen to take off his boots while stripping out of his own clothing. One of Tony’s go-to methods for clearing his mind when he hits a wall is jerking off. Unfortunately, while the orgasm does help him think, sexually it just riles him up. 

Stephen gets his pants off and slides backwards onto the bed, pulling a couple of pillows over to support his head and shoulders. He’s just in time; Tony crawls over him and fists a hand in the hair at the back of Stephen’s head, holding him still for a deep, hungry kiss. Stephen moans into it and yields. When Tony pulls back, his eyes are dark. “And then I got unstuck and you still weren’t home.”

“Terribly sorry,” Stephen says, and it’s supposed to be a tease, but part of him is sorry. 

“You can make it up to me,” Tony murmurs, sliding a hand down Stephen’s body and wrapping it around his rapidly hardening cock, “by giving me a nice, thick knot to ride.” He kisses Stephen again without waiting for a response. Not that a response is really necessary: Stephen’s body reacts to Tony as it always does. Pleasure sparks warmth in every inch of him. Stephen could swear that he can feel his pulse in his palms where they curl around Tony’s hips, a much needed anchor in the whirlpool of sensation.

When Tony pulls back from the kisses, Stephen leans up after him automatically and whines softly when Tony presses him down with a hand on his chest. “As much as I enjoy your mouth,” Tony says, sliding backwards just a bit, “it’s not what I want most just now.”

Stephen moans helplessly as Tony rocks, rubbing his hole against the straining length of Stephen cock. He’s dripping with slick already. Tony lifts up and positions himself, then slowly eases down, taking Stephen’s cock into the hot clutch of his body. “Tony,” Stephen gasps. It’s so much, so good. He rests his hands on Tony’s thighs where they’re spread astride him. 

“You’re doing so well, baby,” Tony says, breathless, his hole clenching around Stephen as he adjusts. “God, you’re just perfect, exactly what I needed.”

Pride rushes through Stephen and he watches, rapt, as Tony slowly eases himself up and then lets himself sink down again, faster and faster. His knot is throbbing already, and every time Tony’s wet rim kisses the edge of it, it tears a keen of sheer need out of Stephen. “Tony, please,” Stephen begs, “please let me knot you, please, I’ll be so good, I swear it.”

“I know you will,” Tony says, chest heaving for breath as he works himself up and down Stephen’s cock, his thighs bunching and releasing under Stephen’s hands. “Just a little more.”

Stephen groans but holds on, his world narrowing to the ache of his knot and the pure bliss shining out of Tony’s expression. He loses all sense of time; it could be a minute or an hour before Tony catches his gaze, smiles, and says, “Here we go, baby.”

“Yes, yes, yes,” Stephen says, his voice breaking as Tony presses down, his body stretching inexorably, until finally Stephen’s knot slides into him. Tony shouts with completion, grinding down into the fullness of the tie as his orgasm tears through him, and Stephen’s eyes roll back, his breath caught in his throat as he comes, too. His knot swells just that last bit more and he comes in great spurts, hot and thick and so, so good.

Stephen blinks as he slowly comes back to himself, eventually focusing enough to take in the truly delicious sight of Tony still sitting astride him, Stephen’s knot buried deep and firmly tied. A satisfaction so deep it’s almost smug radiates from Tony. “You are incredible,” Stephen murmurs.

Tony chuckles. “I think that’s my line.”

“Hmmm. Well, we’re certainly incredible together,” Stephen, bouncing his hips just enough to jostle Tony. They both catch their breath.

“Be careful what you invite there,” Tony says, grinning.

Stephen grins back. 

Neither of them have ever particularly cared for careful.

[damn-stark]

Chapter 21 But then I found you

Chapter 21 of Sugar

A/N- Choso just needs some time to understand the jokes and when he does he’ll be the only one to laugh even if he doesn’t truly get it.

Warning- Swearing, angst, FLUFF!!!!, mentions of death, spoilers, SLOW BURN, heavy pining, dark joke, long chapter

Pairing- Choso x Gojo!fem-reader, Suguru Geto x Gojo!fem-reader

Takes place during- Chapter 139 of the Manga

(Let me know if you want to be tagged)

————

It’s said that the worst day isn't the day you lose someone, but instead the days after. They say that the silence after the noise of funerals and everything that deals with that is deafening.

You aren’t having a funeral for the twins or Nanami though because you’re practically on the run since everyone is in a frenzy after the events at Shibuya. So only hours pass for you when the silence turns deafening and you know you’re living through the worst day of your life this year.

One that doesn’t let you sleep because all you can do is think of nothing else but Nanako, Mimiko, and Nanami. All you can do is cry quietly on the lonely bed, wishing for someone to tell you that’ll be fine, that at least they’re not in pain anymore, or just to simply keep you company so you’re not alone.

Usually, you would have gone to Nanami or he would have come to you without even needing to be told. Or you would have the twins and you’d comfort each other, but they’re all gone and you’re alone. And you hate it.

It's why even if you’re still exhausted you leave the room you’re staying in and sit on a windowsill in the living room, to watch the raindrops collect on the window while morning slowly rises.

Sure the living room doesn’t resolve the loneliness you feel, but the music of the pattering rain is enough to fill some of the silence. You could almost fall asleep, it would keep your mind quiet for a while, but the matter of the fact is that when you close your eyes you see their faces, so you just choose to watch the rain.

The only time you peel your eyes away is when your curiosity is piqued the moment the floor creaks behind you. And when you look back you’re not disappointed when you see Choso.

“Oh,” he whispers and freezes as if he was caught doing something bad. “I didn’t know you were here. It’s dark.”

You sit up and quickly excuse yourself as if you were also caught doing something you aren’t supposed to. “Yeah, I didn’t want to bother anyone by having the light on. Sorry did I scare you?”

Choso quickly assures you. “No,”

You hum with contentment and then playfully narrow your eyes on him. “Aren’t you supposed to be sleeping?” You pick on him.

“Aren't you?” He rebuttals, making the corner of your lips tug to a faint half-smile.

“Touché, and,” you add. “Yes, but…well the room was quiet so I came here.”

Choso blinks in confusion and glances around the room as if searching for the resolve to your silence, but he finds nothing but more silence.

“And you? Why are you up?” You ask. “It’s still early after the night we had.”

“Water,” Choso says. “I came for water.”

You hum and look back at the rain to let him grab his water. And when you hear him pouring the body of water into his cup, you press your fingertip on the glass and use your technique to form the raindrops on the glass into bunnies.

And perhaps it’s such a silly thing to do still at 28, but you find comfort in the creatures you can make, especially in the bunnies you shape because they carry so much more meaning now.

“Can I ask you guys something important? What’s your favorite animal, hm?”

You remember them looking at one another trying to figure out what you were up to while they chose to give into your antics with wholehearted trust.

“Bunnies!”

Nanako said for her and Mimiko.

Bunnies.

You never gave them much thought before, the twins liked them and as they grew, Nanako continued to like them when Mimiko grew out of them.

Bunnies.

It was also a nickname you used for them that sounded made for them. They never complained about it or asked you to stop calling them that. Even when they got older.

Bunnies…

You never gave them much thought before, but now you’ll live the rest of your life thinking about them and remembering the twins.

“Here,” Choso breaks you from your train of thought, making you drop the rainwater and look over to see him offering you a cup of water.

“Oh,” you gasp softly and take the cup. “Thank you.” You smile at him and feel butterflies fluttering in your stomach at the simple gesture. Which is why as Choso shifts his body to walk away, you interject.

“Wait, hm…” you hesitate simply out of timidness. “Do you want to sit with me? It’s okay if you don’t, you can go back to bed.”

You don’t look back and wait for his response with your eyes glued on the water in your cup out of fear of rejection.

“Yes,” he assures your pounding heart. “I do.”

You sigh softly and lift your eyes to watch him turn back. When he’s taken his seat though, you drift your gaze back out the window to continue to watch the rain and listen to its melody as it hits the glass.

And whereas the rain filled the silence before but wasn’t enough to keep you company, now you hear the soft breaths Choso takes through the rain's music; you feel the warmth of his body radiate out as he sits only inches away from you, and it’s because of those simple and quiet details that the loneliness you had felt antagonizing your heart disappears.

You don’t even need to look at him to reaffirm anything either, that’s enough to satisfy you. However, you still can’t help but steal a glance over at him and take in the sight of his relaxed face as he watches the rain fall. You watch him softly narrow his eyes, and guess to yourself that he might be thinking. What about is a question that makes an appearance in your head for a second before you take a drink of your water and look out again as your mind wanders to another thought.

And unbeknownst to you Choso steals a glance right back at you and watches your gaze get lost on a raindrop for a long moment before you finally blink and shift your gaze, making him quickly look away.

“Choso,” you break the silence. “Can I ask you something?”

Said man drifts his eyes over to you and you suddenly feel your breath hitch in your throat as you grow nervous under his intense gaze.

“Yes,” he welcomes your curiosity.

You swallow back nervously and glance at your bare fingernails to build your courage before you speak up. “How…hm,” you pause and drop your head to place the cup down between your legs. “How did you forgive Itadori?” You finally ask and slowly lift your gaze to watch for his reaction.

“I mean I heard what you told him last night,” you explain further. “But there was a moment where you were debating it right? Whether to forgive the boy that killed your brothers or not?”

Choso draws out a deep breath and nods softly, relieving your guilt.

“Okay,” you whisper and exhale deeply before you continue with your point. “Because…it’s been 11 years since my brother…betrayed me,” you pause hesitantly since you don’t know how to exactly sum it all up to one short story without telling a long dreadful one.

“And it’s almost been 1 year since we’ve reunited, and in that year he’s been nothing but great to my daughter, he’s tried to be good to me, but…I still can’t find it in me to forgive him,” you share in a tearful voice. “I told him a few weeks ago that I was ready to try, but now he’s gone, and all I want is to forgive him before I get him out of that prison. I don’t want to hold resentment, but I don’t know how…so,” you slowly drag on as you grow more nervous. “How did you forgive Itadori? How did you know it was right?”

Choso watches you for a moment as if trying to find his answer on your face before he looks away and looks for his answer on some random crevice.

And once again, as you watch him you see him slightly narrow his gaze. However, this time you also see his thick eyebrows pinch together before they relax again just before he snaps his eyes up to meet your waiting gaze.

“I don’t know,” he shares in an honest tone. You can tell because there's a gentle shift in his deep and nonchalant voice. “I think it was just a feeling in my gut. It felt like the right thing to do because the more I thought about it the more I realized it wasn’t his fault. He didn’t know who he was fighting, so he couldn’t have control over the situation.”

You pick up your cup to drink water as you let his words sink.

“So maybe go with the right feeling? I don’t know,” he confesses. “But what I do know is that as older brothers we make mistakes too.”

You smile sweetly at his words, making Choso swallow thickly.

“Thank you,” you whisper and offer him a wider smile.

Choso parts his lips but quickly closes his mouth and sighs before he mutters, “you’re welcome.”

You beam at him as you realize he corrected himself. “Nice,” you acknowledge his gratitude.

Choso looks down and tries to hide his soft smile, but you catch it and feel that fluttering in your stomach that you never want to lose.

Silence follows after that for a few minutes before Choso interjects this time. “Can I ask you something now?”

You blink with surprise and quickly nod to try and satisfy your curiosity.

“When do you think Yuji will acknowledge me as his older brother?” He asks with worry and complete seriousness, but you can’t help but giggle at how cute it sounds.

“What?” He queries.

You shake your head. “Nothing…it’s just…nothing.” You clear your throat and grow a bit serious as the weight of his questions falls on your shoulders. “Just give him time.”

“How much time?” Choso impatiently cuts in.

You shrug. “His world just got turned upside down, you know?” You sigh. “His friend is…well…” you trail off since you told him last night on your way to find Itadori—“one mentor died,” you add. “And the other was taken. And on the same day, he finds out that the guy he was fighting and was almost killed by is actually his long lost older brother, it’s a lot to progress so give him time.”

Choso looks unsatisfied so you lean over your knees and offer him advice. “Be there for him like you are now. Check up on him as he’s dealing with his emotions. You don’t have to say anything on the matter, but letting him know that you’re there for him would be great.”

“Okay.”

“For example,” you add to help him more. “Now, when my students bring us the groceries I asked for, we can make him breakfast. He may not want to eat, but you know what? Just letting him know you’re worried and thinking about him is a small step in the right direction!”

“Really?” Choso asks with his eyes filled with curiosity and trust for what you’re saying.

“Really.” You confirm sweetly.

“Okay.” Choso trusts you.

“We’ll just have to wait an hour because I did also ask my kids to pick up some stuff from my house,” you break it to him, making him react with a soft scoff.

“Tsk.”

You snicker and sit back to watch the rain again, missing the way he keeps his eyes on you as he builds the courage to ask a question off-topic. One that he doesn't know whether you'll be happy to hear or upset. Plus you look happier now, so he doesn’t want to see you upset all over again.

Yet he wants to ask so he takes the risk. “How’s your daughter? Did she make it out okay?”

You snap your eyes over to Choso and your smile falls flat, making him start to regret asking.

Nevertheless, you then flash him a smile and gladly answer. “She did, she’s on her way to Italy right now with Belinda, her caretaker, who actually,” you let him know. “Was my caretaker too.”

Choso blinks and rebuttals in a very serious nonchalant way. “You need a caretaker?”

You chuckle and quickly counter. “No—imagine though? Like during a battle, someone’s just taking care of me,” you play along with a laugh, making his face burn and his heart race before he can’t help but smile faintly at the sight of your own reaction.

“No, but,” you clear your throat. “Belinda was mine and Satoru’s caretaker when we were young, so there’s no one I trust more with my little girl than Belinda.”

Choso hums and you add on excitedly.

“She’s going to be taking strolls around town, going to the beach, harvesting grapes, and looking for cute souvenirs because she says she wants to give her uncle something cute when he gets out of his prison realm.” You grin, and Choso’s lips pull to a soft smile.

“So,” he adds hesitantly. “She’s not upset you’re not leaving with her?”

You sigh deeply and carefully spin the water in your cup. “Yeah,” you admit. “But I told her that I have to stay here to work on getting Satoru out of the prison realm, so that kind of calmed her down.” You say and frown out of shame and sadness that you have to send your daughter away.

Choso reads your expression as if he’s known you for years and makes an assumption. “It’s for her own good.”

You exhale deeply. “Yeah, I know.” You smile again and nudge his foot with yours. “Thank you for asking, I appreciate it.”

Choso holds your gaze and glances down at your lips pulled to a smile before meeting your gaze again and offering you a small acknowledging nod.

“Now,” you add and swing your legs off the windowsill. “Do you want to watch a movie while we wait?” You ask and take the blanket you had been sitting on to throw it over you and walk to the TV. “We would watch an animated one about brothers going on drastically different revenge trips after their older brother dies. One ends up transformed because of his revenge, and the other one ends up blinded by anger. It’s a very good movie and it makes me cry all the time. I’m sure you’ll like it.”

“Yeah,” Choso agrees. “That’s fine.”

You peer over at him to flash him a smile as he takes a seat on the end of the couch. When you look down to grab the remote you smile wider to yourself over the fact that you don’t feel alone anymore with him here with you.

——

*2 HOURS LATER*

A knock rapping on the door sends you sliding off your seat to rush and open the door. And even if you expected them (an hour ago), seeing Kirara and Hakari standing in the hall, under the flickering light; some of the darkness that held you captive broke away, letting you feel lighter, like…you aren’t drowning by the weight of your emotions anymore.

“Finally,” you greet them nonchalantly even if that does nothing to hide the grief so noticeable in your puffy eyes. “I’m starving.”

“Master,” Kirara whispers as they look into your eyes to try and find something to say and a way to react as you stand before them.

“You look like crap master,” Hakari says brashly. “It's a good thing we brought your things.”

You flash him a soft smile before you glance down at your luggage he shows off.

“I almost thought you wouldn't get here, I almost cried thinking I was going to have to wear this forever,” you say dramatically and step aside to let him in.

“Master,” Kirara repeats in that soft voice.

“Kira, darling,” you greet them and look at them with a teasing smile.

Kirara drops the grocery bags and watches you with a trembling bottom lip before they close the gap and wrap you in an embrace.

You’re caught off guard by the suddenness of it, but you don’t question what brought this on, you told them about Nanako, Mimiko, and Nanami. So this embrace was for that.

It’s true they usually give you hugs here and there, they're more affectionate than Hakari after all, but you saw the pity in their eyes the moment you opened the door. They didn’t need to say a word about it for you to know.

“I’m sorry for your loss,” they murmur against you.

Yet no matter how much you knew, how much you prepared to appear strong while they were here, you still can’t help yourself from breaking just a little by the feeling of their comfort.

Whereas Choso filled the silence and did not make you feel alone or hopeless. Hakari and Kirara are still what keep you from drowning any further.

“Thank you, Kira,” you whisper and squeeze them gently, letting a couple of tears fall down your cheeks.

“Kin might not say it but it was his idea to come,” they reveal. “He wanted to come last night to keep you company, but he respected your wishes and we stayed home like you asked.”

Your breath hitches softly and you feel your heart fill with bliss. “Thank you,” whisper again and linger in their embrace for a moment longer before you pull back and hold their hands. “This is why you’re my favorite,” you taunt loudly.

“I heard that!” Hakari exclaims from the kitchen. “Eh, who are you?” He abruptly changes his tone of voice to something rougher, so you immediately drop Kirara's hands and help them with some groceries to then rush into the kitchen where Hakari is staring Choso down.

“Kin this is Choso,” you quickly interject. “He’s my friend.”

Hakari’s shoulders relax and he squints his gaze before interjecting. “How good are you at fighting?” He then looks over at you. “How good is your guy at fighting?”

You pluck a grape from one of the bags and throw it in your mouth. “Let him answer,” your voice comes out muffled.

“So,” Hakari redirects. “Are you any good? You could make good money.”

Choso’s eyes drift to you in confusion, but before you can help him out of the situation Kirara blurts as they walk up behind you. “Wait, this is him? Is this the same Choso you told us about? The cursed womb?”

Your face burns and Choso’s eyes slightly widen in surprise.

“Yeah this is him,” you agree and hide your face by putting the groceries down to avoid getting seen all flustered by Kirara and Hakari because they will notice and catch your racing heart when you simply lay your eyes on Choso.

“Choso,” you change the subject and look up proudly. “These are my students, the ones I told you about! This right here Kirara Hoshi,” you point over your shoulder.

“Hello,” Kirara greets and leans over your shoulder. “I like your buns.”

You smile softly, and see Choso grow a bit flustered. “Thank you,” he responds with nonchalance.

“And this,” you move on and grab Hakari’s arm. “Is Kinji Hakari. They’re my star pupils.” You show off like a proud mother and throw your arms around their shoulders. “My kids.”

“We’re her only students,” Kirara makes the point clear. “So there’s not really more to choose from.”

“Not like we’re complaining,” Hakari cuts in.

“Y/N has spoken highly of the both of you in the short time we’ve been together,” Choso shares bluntly and adds nothing else. That’s it.

“I assume we'll make breakfast now,” Choso adds. “I’ll fetch Yuji.”

You hum in comprehension and watch him until he disappears down the hall.

“Master?” Hakari snaps your attention back to the kitchen.

“Hm?” You probe and look at him.

“I wanted to say that I’m sorry for your losses,” he says. “I hope this is not the end for you, it would be disappointing.”

You scoff softly and he catches you off guard when he places his hand on your shoulder and gives it a gentle squeeze.

However, you can’t say you hate the gesture. It’s his form of an embrace, so you return it by reaching over and giving his hand a returning squeeze.

“Thank you, Kin. And it’s not, now I’m planning to kill the man in Suguru’s body and get my brother back.”

Hakari smirks. “I like the sound of that.”

You let his hand go, letting him slide his hand off your shoulder.

“I can’t kill Sukuna myself,” you grumble and begin to take things from the bags to put them away. “I’m not that stupid either, but I can kill Noritoshi—Or I can find a way to destroy Sukuna from the inside,” you sneer.

“What about both?” Hakari suggests as he sits back on the counter to watch Kirara and you put things away. “It’ll be a hell of a mission.”

You snicker. “Did you guys take in the city sights?” You change the subject as he mentions missions.

“Yeah,” Kirara cuts in. “I can’t believe we missed it. You really downplayed it!”

“I said big crater!” You argue. “There was a big crater!”

“Along with crumbling towers, cracked streets, and large gaps in walls,” Hakari adds sarcastically. “Yeah, but no biggie. It doesn’t compare to Egypt.”

You peer at him over your shoulder and smile. “Exactly what I told Yuki.” You wink at him.

“Only we didn’t destroy part of a city,” Kirara says, making Hakari and you both quickly rebuttal.

“Close enough.”

“I am sorry that we couldn’t lend a helping hand in all the fun,” Hakari continues with a stifled laugh and smacks the arm you regrew before he picks it up and examines it, making Kirara drop what they held to study your arm too as if it was some kind of miracle.

“I know it doesn’t hurt anymore,” Kirara says. “But are you sure there aren’t any lingering effects?”

“Just her unmanicured nails,” Hakari points out your insecurity.

“I’m working on it,” you whine and look at Kirara. “Would you help me? I can’t possibly go on with my nails all naked.”

Alas just as Kirara is about to agree, Choso entering the kitchen alone steals your attention.

“He said he didn’t want to come,” he shares almost disappointedly.

You pull your hand away from the student's grasp and offer Choso an assuring smile. “Just give him time. You can offer him breakfast later. For now, why don’t you come help me make some, hm? Or you can help Hakari put the things away.”

Choso nods and doesn’t hesitate to walk in and join the three of you in the kitchen, choosing to be by your side instead of in between you and your kids who watched him like hungry predators.

“I thought about it,” you direct at him with a smile. “We can make something savory like omelets!”

Choso raises his eyebrow and argues nonchalantly. “You said you wanted something sweet.”

You nod. “I know, but it’s too late to make what I wanted, I’m starving, so something quick is what we’re going with today.”

He hums and you don’t take that as a protest so you don’t change your mind.

“I can help you master,” Kirara cuts in and barges in between Choso and you. “We came with an appetite.”

You furrow your eyebrows and quietly wonder what that was about before you look over your shoulder to find your answer with Hakari. However, he looks away at that moment, making you quip. “Late and with an appetite? I swear.”

“You wouldn’t let us starve now would you?” Kirara speaks softly and sweetly, using your own tricks on you. “Who knows what we may face on our way home you know with all those curses—”

“I get it, I get it,” you cut them off and grumble. “And using my tricks on me? At least bat your lashes won’t you?”

Kirara laughs, and you can’t help but smile softly. Actually, you can’t help but feel happy being in the kitchen with your students and with Choso. You don’t feel alone with all the noise, you feel content with all the uproar Kirara and Hakari provide by being here.

However, in between all the bliss, the laughs, and the stories you all tell Choso who never wavers his attention, comes back that agonizing sorrow.

Just a couple of days ago you were laughing and gossiping with Satori, and the twins. Just a couple of days ago you still had them with you, and your heart wasn’t completely satisfied, but you were happy. Now they’re gone and that’s all that occupies your mind; along with their—no Mimiko’s body…you never saw Nanako’s body…You never saw her face, you just found her phone.

And for some reason that irks you so much that what you knew gets all twisted and you foolishly start to hope that you can still find her. Or that she’ll find you.

All because a good morning triggered a flood of memories you return to the station and wait. You wait with hope that you’ll find Nanako.

Yet she doesn’t come that evening, but instead of feeling discouraged and thinking straight, you continue to hope and wait. Wait, and wait for five days for a moment in time while Itadori is out curse hunting and Choso is following him, making sure he’s okay and hoping that Itadori will acknowledge him as a brother.

They don’t know that you find a spot near where you found the twins and wait. They don’t know until one does on the fifth day after they discreetly follow you, making you delusional and believe that the footsteps that approach you are Nanako’s.

Alas, when you look over your smile falls and your heart weeps a little when it’s not her.

“Choso,” you greet quietly and sit back down with your head hanging low. “What are you doing here?”

Choso falls beside you and then responds. “I was wondering where you came to every day for the past five days.”

You sigh and speak just above a whisper. “Here. I’m not hiding something if that’s what you think.”

“I debated it,” he confesses.

You huff softly, and he slowly slides down the wall to sit beside you.

“You can go,” you murmur and keep averting your gaze. “Make sure Itadori doesn’t run into any trouble. I just want to stay here and wait a little while longer…” you trail off and cradle Nanako’s broken phone against your chest.

“Wait for what?” Choso asks and you can’t tell if it’s some joke or a genuine question. Isn’t it obvious?

“She can still come,” you whisper sharply.

Choso shifts uncomfortably and breathes out. “Oh.” He doesn’t try to argue with you like others would have to get you to see the truth. He doesn’t snap back after you raised your voice. He continues to sit there in silence with you. And you feel grateful that he does.

You find comfort in the feeling of his presence and the sound of his calm breathing. You also slowly come back to the truth in his silence.

“Right?” You ask. “I didn’t see her…she can still come back…right?”

Choso lingers in the silence for a moment before he parts his lips. “I—”

“She can’t,” you cut him off to answer your own question because you already knew the truth. You had known it since the moment you found their bodies, but these calm days clouded your mind and made you cling onto hope.

You can see clearly now though, and a part of you dies inside because of it.

After days of knowing and crying at night, you finally come to terms with the fact that you will live the rest of your life without Nanako and Mimiko. The girls that aren’t even biologically yours, but you loved with every fiber in your body. The girls who you debated accepting into your life because you feared being a bad parent to them, but ended up trying to be everything your parents weren't to you. They’re gone. They’re gone forever, and you have to accept that. You do accept that now in the silence of the room that you fill with your broken cries and sniffles.

Several minutes pass before the room falls completely silent again and your shoulders stop shaking, however, you still remain seated and stare at the floor while Choso sits beside you not knowing what to do or how to comfort you until he finally finds the courage and breaks the silence.

“I found this.”

You wipe the stray tears off your cheeks and lift your head to watch him pull something out of his pocket. When his hand is close to you he opens his palm and shows off a small, but broken glass swan figurine infused with a red-orange color combination.

“Oh it’s broken,” Choso grumbles with a pout and closes his hand over the figurine to get rid of the broken glass.

Albeit you quickly grab his hand to stop him. “Not necessarily,” you assure him and pull his hand back towards you. “Hold the pieces together, I can fix it.”

You open Choso’s hand for him and then shift to be face to face.

“The neat thing about my technique,” you say and put Nanako’s phone away to summon fire to your finger. “I can fix these kinds of things.”

Choso puts the parts together and holds it out for you.

“One time,” you continue to speak while you begin to mend the pieces back together. “When I was a little girl, I was playing inside with my brother—twist,” you instruct him, and when he does you continue on. “…and we broke this crazy expensive glass vase, so,” you huff and smile faintly. “To avoid getting in trouble we stayed up all night and I put it back together.”

Choso hums in comprehension and you lift your gaze off the glass swan to look at him and hum back.

“Did they find out?” He probes. “Your parents?”

You shake your head. “No—twist—but my cousins did end up breaking it the following week, so,” you click your tongue. “That was that.”

You sit up straight and put the fire out to instead gather a swirl of air over your fingertip and redirect it at the swan to cool it off and finish your work.

“Look at that,” you muse happily and sit back to face Choso. “All fixed!”

Choso holds the figurine in between his fingertips and turns it gently to study your work.

“It’s not as it used to be, but it’s still pretty,” you try to make him feel better.

Choso hums and drifts his eyes over to you. “It’s for you,” he says and pushes the glass figurine towards you.

“For me?” You whisper and touch your chest with surprise.

Choso nods. “I found it amongst some rubble and…picked it up for you. It wasn’t broken then though.”

You hold his gaze for a lingering moment as you progress his gesture as if it’s the first time someone has done anything kind for you when it’s not true. People have done kind stuff for you. Yet you still can’t help but feel flustered and surprised over Choso doing it.

“Thank you,” you coo and take the glass swan from his grasp to gently cup it in your hands and admire the red-orange design that makes it look like fire is trapped inside—“it’s beautiful. I’ll cherish it forever.” You bat your lashes and meet his gaze with a beaming grin.

Choso blinks repeatedly and his cheeks grow a tint of red while his lips slowly pull to a sweet smile.

You should look away, you want to keep admiring the little swan, but you can’t rip your eyes away. You continue to hold his gaze as if you’re magnetized to him, and in that precise moment as you look into his kind and rich brown eyes, everything slows down and only you and him exist in your vast and beautiful world as a realization hits your mind and heart.

It’s a sweet and kind realization that lets you know that what you feel goes past just attraction; your face burns and your heart skips a beat for him because you…like him. You want to feel the warmth of his lips on yours, you want him to hold you intimately, and you want to make him laugh and smile in ways only you know how to.

You never thought you’d feel that burning desire again, even if Suguru said you should find someone to make you happy, you never found the urge or the need to after him, but here is Choso, and it’s such an exciting feeling. Something new and positively overwhelming that you never felt for Suguru.

Does he feel the same though?

You see his gaze linger, he keeps you company without you needing to tell him, he blushes a lot over the small things you say, and you often hear his breath hitch when you’re close to him. Plus you’re not a clueless and an inexperienced teenager anymore, you notice things even if you don’t point it out or make it obvious—And well he’s not really discreet about his feelings.

But…you know what you’ve done. You know who you are, and he’s sweet and passionate. He’s everything you like in a man, and it’s exactly why he’s not someone you deserve. So even if he gives you these sweet gifts, makes your heart sing the sweetest song, and makes you burn up with desire, you can’t encourage anything. You don’t deserve him or his big heart; he might not agree or see that detail, but you see it and you’re not worthy of him.

“Thank you once again, Choso,” you whisper and pull back.

He hums.

“I have something to tell you now,” you mutter and look back at the swan. “Something serious and private.”

You can’t encourage feelings of desire, but you still want to be his friend.

“You can’t tell anyone, okay? Promise?” You make yourself clear.

Choso swallows thickly and nods. “I won’t tell anyone.”

You nod. “Good. Good,” you murmur and continue to bite back a smile and sigh to pretend to be serious. “I…stayed up all night last night wondering where the sun went.” You hold his gaze and finish with a growing smile. “And then it dawned on me.” You snort and watch for his reaction.

Choso blinks and his eyebrows slowly begin to furrow.

“Get it?” You ask with a grin. “It dawned on me?” You snicker and can’t help but laugh at your own joke.

Choso doesn’t join in though, so you calm down and shake your head. “It’s not as funny when I have to explain the joke. So I’ll tell you another one.” You clear your throat and continue. “I tried to catch some fog the other day. I missed. Wait…” you trail off and laugh. “I said it wrong!” You push his shoulder and laugh harder. “I said it wrong! Listen, Choso.” You clear your throat again and sit up to face him and retell the joke. “I tried to catch some fog the other day. I mist.” You flash him a grin for a second before you sigh deeply. “I ruined it. Damn.”

Choso drops his head and strokes his chin, making you mindlessly smile in awe.

“Oh,” Choso interjects with a breathless scoff a few minutes later. “I get it. They’re jokes.”

You giggle and nod. “Yes. They are, but I guess I have to find the right one. Don’t worry I know tons. It’ll just take some time to find it.”

Choso hums and then his lips pull to a half smile. “I’ll look forward to it.”

You smile and nod. “Good. Now,” you draw out a deep breath. “Let’s go meet up with Itadori.”

You push yourself off your seat and Choso mirrors you. When you’re about a thirds of a way near the exit you break your silence and nudge his arm.

“I was thinking about ways to get your brothers out.”

Choso blinks and his eyes soften when he looks at you.

“Okay,” you go on as you fiddle with the glass swan. “One, we ask for help from my doctor friend. But…I am leaning away from that one because I don’t want to risk getting her in trouble, so here’s three more which all now involve knocking out the guards. Which isn’t hard, my six-year-old can do it.” You skip forward to face him as you walk back.

“We can walk into all the doors,” you continue. “Risk falling into a trap and maybe dying. Three, we can take the route I used last year and burn all the doors down with one of my techniques, which will leave the one we want. Or four, since you say you can sense your brothers, we can just use you to guide us to the right door. It’d be less messy.”

“Yes.” Choso nods. “I thought about that one too, so we can use me,” he says. “If that doesn’t work then we can use your technique.”

You smile. “Great, that sounds like a plan. Now we have to figure out when. Shoko says that things are still pretty roused up at the school,” you pause and turn to face the last stretch before you reach the exit doors. “I don’t think things will change any time soon, so,” you exhale. “Maybe we can go sometime next week. That sound good?” You ask and turn your head to make sure it’s okay.

Luckily Choso was already looking at you so you quickly find each other's gaze.

“Yes, that sounds good,” he agrees, making you smile proudly and pat his shoulder.

“Great.” You exclaim and avert your gaze to avoid looking into his eyes again.

You actually get ahead of him to exit the building and choose to immediately look up at the night sky the moment you’re outside.

“Look at that,” you muse out loud as you find joy in the rare star-littered sky casted over the city. “There’s stars out now that the city lights aren’t polluting the sky. Hm.” You hum and smile with admiration. “Nothing beats seeing the stars on a boat in the middle of the ocean. It looks like you’re lost in the stars.” You ramble and look down.

However, that was a mistake because Choso is already looking at you with a deep intensity that makes it hard for you to pull your eyes away.

You almost don’t find the strength to, you want to get lost in his eyes that seem to glimmer softly thanks to the moon's gentle hue, but you do look away and hide your flustered face.

“So,” you roll out and change the subject. “How are things with Itadori? Do you talk when you’re out hunting curses?”

“Not really,” Choso answers right away, sounding disappointed. “He’s stuck in a trance when he’s killing curses.”

You slowly look back at Choso and frown with pity. “It’s just all his emotions,” you inform him. “He’s trying to numb away the pain as he’s fighting.”

Choso nods. “It seems so…could you talk to him?” He asks, catching you by surprise. “I’m afraid I can’t offer the advice he needs to hear. Maybe you can?”

“Me?” You point at yourself.

“Yes. You’re a mother, you have students too. And you share a common loss,” he says. “Maybe you can talk to him.”

You hold his gaze for a second before you avert your eyes and think for a minute.

You don’t want to say the wrong thing to Itadori. He’s not your students or your kids, and his way of thinking is different.

But Choso is right too, you do share a common loss, and you’ve lost other people too, you can talk to him about grief. Besides, you’ve been living with him, he hardly eats, and when he’s out in the living room he’s spaced out most of the time. He’s in pain and you can say you know what he’s feeling. Plus, Choso has done so much for you. He’s so nice. And even if you don’t want to encourage your relationship to drift in a different direction, you can still help him this way and it won’t change a thing.

“All right,” you assure Choso. “I’ll talk to him. I think I have an idea. We can do it tomorrow night.”

Choso draws out a deep breath and you feel his stare on you. “Thank you,” he says softly.

You avert your gaze and nod. “No problem, Choso.”

His gaze lingers for a while longer. And when he finally looks away you look at him as if you’re addicted to him.

——

*THE NEXT DAY*

Okay, how do you say this?

Hey, come outside with me?

No, it sounds weird…so maybe “can we talk?”

Sounds a bit too serious and you don’t want to make Itadori nervous.

Hm…

You tap your chopstick on the plate and think for a moment that’s cut short.

“You okay?” Itadori breaks his silence which ends up surprising you; he hardly says a thing besides his manners.

“Oh,” you gasp softly and flicker your eyes to Choso. He looks at you and without saying a thing you speechlessly say “here I go,” and slide your eyes back to the pink-haired boy, noticing his gaze snap from Choso and you as if finding something off between the two of you.

“Itadori,” you start off by saying and put your utensils down to just throw something out. “When we’re done with dinner could you meet me outside? I want to show you something that might help.”

Itadori’s eyebrows knit together in confusion but he doesn’t probe, he nods in agreement. “Yeah, all right.”

You smile softly. “Good, and bring something that reminds you of Nanami.”

“Huh?”

You lean over. “You’ll see when we get down there...” You trail off and turn to Choso. “You too Choso, bring something that reminds you of your brothers. We can all do this.”

“Bring what?” Choso asks for him and Itadori since they both have the same question.

You shrug. “Something you see that reminds you of the people you lost. It doesn’t have to be big, it can be a picture, something small like a button, just something you look at and makes you think of them. We’ll burn it.” You let them know.

Choso averts his gaze and thinks, whilst Itadori just eats his food in silence and with sorrow.

You can’t say you have anything to offer at the moment, you do want to save it all for later, so you let the silence linger while you all eat.

Nevertheless, Choso has other plans.

“Yuji,” he catches Itadori and you off guard by speaking up. But then again you shouldn't be, he's been trying to make small talk with Itadori for so long. “Do you know, y/n has a caretaker.”

“Hey!” You exclaim and snap your eyes at him to look at him with betrayal. How come he’s picking on you? It’s so out of left field!

Then again he doesn’t talk much and you're still getting to know who’s turning out to be, so everything will probably come out surprising. Which is not a bad thing, you kind of like that he dared himself to pick on you on such a forgetful aspect of your life. It means he was listening when you talked.

“That’s not true,” you make it known.

Itadori eyes widen and he looks at you shocked as if he hasn’t gone to your house before.

“My daughter has a caretaker,” you spat and point your utensil at Choso. “I stopped having a caretaker since I was 11.”

“You had a babysitter?” Itadori asks teasingly.

You nod. “There were three,” you say and lift three fingers. “My family are the Gojo’s so my parents didn’t have time to take care of me. Belinda was my every day, one was for teaching, and the third was for…well, I don’t remember anymore, but there were three.”

“That can’t be right,” Itadori doubts you.

You chuckle. “It’s right. And if Choso had lived 150 years ago he would’ve had them too,” you taunt him right back. “You would've had your ass wiped, man. You would’ve been pampered like you’re some god because of your inherited technique.”

Choso rolls his eyes. “I would’ve hated it,” he grumbles. “And him even more.”

“Yeah sure,” you scoff. “You would’ve been clan leader eventually and matched with some pretty sorcerer woman to continue your line.”

Itadori slams his hands on the table and leans over the table to be closer to you. “Wait, that's real? Do people actually get matched together like in the movies?”

You prop your elbow on the table to rest your chin on your hand and respond. “Yeah. That’s how the big families guarantee that their family line continues to be strong. For example, the Zen’in’s wanted me to marry their son, Naoya Zen’in, but,” you huff. “My brother wouldn't allow it, and my father never agreed to it either. That’s one of the good things he did for me. If not, right now I’d be some forgotten concubine in the Zen’in clan.”

“Really?” Itadori inquiries.

You nod lazily. “Yeah. Truth is, I probably would’ve just…you know,” you chuckle coldly. “Killed myself or something if that happened though.”

“Tsk,” Choso complains about your joke.

“Naoya is the worst,” you back up your joke. “He’s an arrogant, misogynist, spoiled brat who only values himself.”

“Jeez,” Itadori whispers.

“Happens though,” you murmur and sit up. “Takes a lot of sacrifice being part of a family like that. Then again when you’re used to it it’s normal. I escaped it though so I’m good.” You smile and look at him to ask him a question you already knew but one Choso doesn’t. “What about you? You said your grandfather raised you, how was that?”

Itadori shrugs. “It was good. He was good, not like your family.”

You laugh softly.

“There was always food on the table and clothes on my back. He was a good guy,” he says.

You glance at Choso and point your eyes at Itadori, encouraging him to dive deeper so he can get to know him better.

“And,” Choso brings up slowly as he understands what you want from him. “Your grandfather…where is he?” He asks and drifts his gaze away from you to give his attention to his brother.

“Oh,” Itadori answers as he scoops up some food. “He passed not long ago. It’s just me now.”

“Oh.” Choso lets out with a hardened expression slowly painting on his face.

“You have all of us,” you quickly assure him. “And your friends. Choso. You’re not alone.”

Itadori plays with his food and mutters at his plate with a deep-set frown on his face. “But I don’t, not anymore.”

You swallow back thickly and don’t try to argue, he won’t listen, it’ll just go in one ear and out the other, so you’ll wait for the Pyre.

However, you do let him know something. “Itadori, after this whole ordeal is done, you’re always welcome in the community. If you don’t change your mind about being alone that is. Choso and his brothers are going to get settled there, you can go too.”

Itadori's eyes slowly drift to you and he looks at you with a perplexed look. “But—”

“You’ll have something to do,” you cut him off and assure him even though you know that’s not what he was going to ask. “We always need a helping hand.”

Itadori drops his gaze and nods stiffly. “All right,” he says in an unconvincing way. “Thank you.”

“Of course,” you redirect and keep your eyes on him as he plays with his food. “Now,” you slowly continue filling the silence as you sit back to face both guys better. “I need to tell you both the story of when I fell off my horse—”

Nevertheless, before you can finish, the sound of your phone ringing cuts you off. And when you check who’s calling, it’s none other than your little girl.

“I’ll meet you guys outside,” you excuse yourself as you get up with your plate. “I have to take this call.”

On your way to the kitchen, you answer your phone and right away there’s a chipper voice. “Mommy!”

“Satori?” You greet cautiously considering it’s late in Italy compared to here. “Hello. What’s up with this wonderful surprise? Why aren’t you sleeping?”

“Uh,” she hums through the phone for a long while.

“Satori Geto,” you scold her and hold your phone with your shoulder to wash your dish. “It’s 2 am over there. What’s wrong?”

“Mom,” she speaks cautiously out of fear she’d get in trouble. “Mommy, I had a dream.”

“A bad dream?” You immediately try to find a solution.

“Hm, no,” she rolls out, making you sigh as you close the faucet and walk over to your room—“It was a good dream,” she whispers and yawns. “About Daddy, Nana, and Mimi! We were at the park!”

Your breath hitches and your annoyance vanishes. “Oh…what did you do in the park?”

Satori hums and when she answers she speaks with glee. “Daddy was pushing me in the swing, and my sisters were sitting beside me.”

Your eyes water and your heart breaks a little.

She still has yet to know about the twins' death. You just haven’t been able to build the strength to share it through the phone, you want to be with her when you tell her to comfort her. You don’t want to be miles away and have to hear her cry through a phone.

“You know what they say,” you hide your sadness. “Daddy came to visit. You tell him hi for me?”

“Of course,” she exclaims. “Always.”

You pull your phone away to hide a shaky breath.

“Mommy, when am I going back home? I miss you,” her voice quivers.

You press your phone back to your ear and coo. “I miss you too baby and I’m sorry but I don’t know yet.”

Satori groans. “Are you sure you don’t need my help?” She asks desperately. “Me and Tiger can help. And Uncle Satoru said "I'm a big help”, I want to help him out of prison.”

You giggle and she whines. “Don’t laugh.”

“I'm sorry, I’m sorry,” you quickly counter. “I know you’re a big help, so you know how you can help him? By making him a welcome home present. Maybe knit him a scarf,” you suggest. “You said you’re learning. Or you know, continue to look for a cute souvenir that reminds you of him. He’ll need some cheering up when he’s out and that will put a smile on his face.”

Satori groans dramatically. “Fine,” she grumbles. “But you work hard to get him out okay? Or else he’ll miss his birthday.”

You grin and assure her. “I will make sure he’s out before then. But as of now, you need to go to sleep. We’ll call in the morning like always, all right? I love you, my girl, to the moon and never back.”

Satori yawns. “I love you too mama. Sweet dreams.”

“Sweet dreams to you too Chipmunk,” you whisper and stay on the phone until she hangs up.

Rather than going out to meet with the others, you continue sitting down for a moment as you feel nothing but guilt having to be away from your daughter for who knows how long.

She deserves so much more, you promised to give her more, but look at you now. Hiding her away from curse users with attachment issues, and hiding the fact that her older sisters are dead.

How terrible is that? How terrible are you?

You let out a deep frustrated breath as you wipe your eyes before you stand up and swipe a picture off the drawer to walk out and meet the guys in the courtyard of the apartment complex.

“Sorry,” you interject when they notice you approaching. “It took longer than expected.”

“It’s all right,” Choso quickly assures you. “Take the time you need. She’s your daughter.”

You flash him a sweet and thankful smile, making him blink repeatedly as if in shock before he offers you a very faint timid smile.

Itadori catches the interaction but thinks nothing of it until he notices Choso intently follow your figure with his eyes until you reach the small pyre in the middle. Now he might not be the smartest guy when it comes to these things, but he knows pining when he sees it. (Or when it’s obvious). And he sees that now so he can’t help but snicker to himself under his breath.

“All right,” you interject loudly and snap a spark of fire to the wood to light the small pyre with just your hands. “Tonight we’re going to do a funeral practice a sorcerer tribe from the Arctic taught Aoi, Yuki, and me a few years back.”

You step back and pull out a picture of Nanami, the twins, and you from your pocket.

“We will welcome them back to our lives by burning what reminds us of them instead of saying goodbye forever,” you speak softly and continue to admire the picture Nanami didn't want to take, but did anyway because you insisted.

“Why?” Itadori mutters.

You let out a deep breath and walk back to fall by his side. “The people of the tribe believed that the ash and the sparks from the items that float to the sky form a path to welcome our loved ones back into our lives,” you share and look at Itadori, seeing his bottom lip tremble as he crumbles a movie ticket in his hand.

“I don’t deserve it,” he confesses in a shaky voice. “I don’t. He’s dead because of me, and Kugisaki…” he trails off and plops himself on the ground to hide his face in his hands.

You steal a glance from Choso and notice his desperation to have his brother feel better, so you don’t protest against what he asked of you yesterday and sit down next to Itadori.

Instead of breaking the silence though you linger in it and watch the fire eat away at the wood logs. When the wood crackles and gives off sparks you quietly speak up.

“As you know Nanami and I had another best friend when we were in school…we were just like you and your group of friends, inseparable and always supporting each other in dark times that hunting curses brings. He was…” you smile to yourself as you recall Haibara. “Like you, a charming smile, and a way to see the good out of bad situations. He was the best of us and only wanted to be a sorcerer because he had the power to help others.”

Tears well in the corner of your eyes, but you don’t let them fall, you smile softly instead until Itadori brings up a question.

“What happened to him? Nanami never talked about him, and you never go into too much detail.”

You let out a deep sigh and bend the corner of the picture paper as you recall his tragic end. “It was supposed to be an easy mission,” you start off collected. “One we should’ve easily managed, but it turns out that they were wrong…the curse outclassed us, and at that point, my technique was heavy to use, I…I struggled for a while. We weren’t prepared for the curse, but it caught us off guard, it managed to separate us…” you falter as you grow upset and debate going on.

But you have to, Itadori needs to listen to the point you want to make.

“When I finally escaped and reached Haibara it was too late,” you fight to finish the story while you drop your eyes to your manicured nails Kirara helped you do—“I still hopelessly held onto hope as I cradled him in my arms, but he had died the moment I stepped out to help him.” You sniffle and hear Itadori’s feet shift against the ground.

“Now they’re both gone,” you murmur and look out at the pyre.

“I,” he stammers. “I'm sorry. I’m sorry you had to lose another friend because of me.” He cries.

You scoff and argue against him. “It’s not your fault, Itadori, Nanami would’ve fought you to get you to understand that, and I will too if need be.”

Itadori turns his head to look at you and is caught off guard by the sweet smile that grows on your lips.

“We never really lose the ones we love,” you retell a piece of wholehearted advice Haibara told you. Now it’s not word for word of what he said but that's not the point. “Right now It’s going to be the worst days of our lives, I mean you’ve been living them, but it’s not the end. Even if it feels like we’re drowning, it’s not the end. The people we love will be with us eternally as long we keep fighting to live and keep our hearts. Even if it’s battered and a weeping mess and you want to give up on it, we have to fight to live, when we give up is when we lose it all.”

You reach over and take Itadori’s hand. He looks over at you with his cheeks pampered with tears.

“Keep fighting Yuji Itadori and keep your heart. It’s a precious thing.”

More thick tears stream down the curve of his cheeks and this time you don’t hesitate to lean over and embrace him tightly.

“Grieving is a precious thing too, it means we’re fighting. So cry, get angry but never lose your heart.”

Itadori’s arms are stiff when they’re on you, but as you continue to hold him tightly against you, he eases into the embrace and lets himself cry quietly.

It’s not for long, he doesn’t take long to pull away either, but he lets himself grieve. That’s what you wanted, and that’s what Choso wanted too.

“Now,” you continue on. “Let’s burn our stuff. So we can get inside, it’s getting fucking cold,” you exclaim and run over to the pyre as you hold yourself to shield your body from the nipping breeze.

“Thank you,” a whisper gets carried to your ear. And when you look over you see Choso with a softened expression on his features.

“Of course,” you assure him and place your hand on his shoulder to give it a gentle and reassuring squeeze.

He breathes in at the interaction, and you make the mistake of holding his gaze with a soft look, making your desire drive your eyes to his lips and fill you with the need to close the gap. But you take back control and let his shoulder go to face the dancing flames and fall back to the grieving moment to start the ritual.

One which you all participate in; even Choso who burns a paper with his brother's names on it because he said he had nothing else. Which makes you even sadder.

Itadori burns a movie ticket for Nanami and holds onto hope for Kugisaki. All while you burn a picture of the twins, you and Nanami together. You don’t have the heart to burn anything else.

You barely have the heart to do this, it still hurts too much, but you can’t push it away. You can’t go back to denying the truth, you need to let go and accept their deaths once and for all.

After all, they’re together now, aren't they? Suguru and the twins?

And Nanami can finally know peace. It’s all he wanted.

So it is okay, it’s going to be okay and eventually your agony will dull.

You keep telling yourself that as you stand in the calming silence and watch your items burn turn to ash and sparks that float up to the dark sky.

Eventually, the flames begin to die out and your mind falls silent. It’s all so quiet. And when the last spark dies out, the silence is deafening, but it’s peaceful, so you choose to bring some light to the dark space as everyone remains here.

“I need to confess something. Nanami would’ve wanted me to,” you whisper and scratch the back of your head to pretend to be serious. “I used to be…addicted to soap.”

“Hm?” Itadori immediately probes

“But,” you continue and let a smile start tugging on your lips. “I’m clean now.”

You look at the guys at your sides and see them both looking at you with questioning looks while you snort and break into a chuckle.

“Oh, I see,” Choso whispers and scoffs softly before his lips break on a smile that then leads to a rumbling chuckle.

You don’t know if he truly got it, but you don’t question him, you laugh harder along with him while your heart does flips out of pure joy that you got to finally make him laugh.

Now all that is left is Itadori.

And much to your surprise, he begins to snicker before he lets himself get lost in the moment too. Either out of genuine humor, or the high of the moment, but he laughs. And after a while, you all seem to forget why you’re laughing, you just get drunk in the moment.

Up to the point, your phone ringing interrupts the moment.

“Ah,” you gasp for air as you calm down. “I’m going to take this.”

You walk off and when you check who’s calling you smile and quickly answer. “Master!”

“Gojo, how are you doing?” She greets you.

You shrug. “I’m…good.” You share slowly. “You tired of hiding yet?”

Yuki groans. “Yes, but I suppose studying Maki Zen’in makes up for it.”

You hum and come to a stop by the back door. “So,” you press, knowing this isn’t just a simple call to catch up. “What’s up?”

Silence comes through for a moment before she sighs and answers with a lighthearted tone. “I have some good news.”

You gasp dramatically. “You killed Noritoshi Kamo and I can go back home with my daughter and brother?” You sass her.

Yuki chuckles. “Not exactly. Are you alone?”

You peer back and see that the guys are keeping their distance, but you still walk inside to talk nonetheless. “I am now…what’s wrong Yuki?”

Said woman lets out a deep breath and at that moment you have a feeling it isn’t anything good.

“We’ve come up with a plan that involves you working with…Yuta Okkotsu…”

Her words drown out and you feel your heart pang at the simple utter of his name.

“Okkotsu?” You cut her off coldly. “The man who killed my husband? You want me to work with him.”

“He didn’t kill Geto,” Yuki argues in his defense. “Your brother did. You know that.”

You shake your head. “Perhaps, but Satoru had to after Okkotsu wounded Suguru to the point of no return. He’s the reason why Suguru is dead, Yuki. He’s the reason why…” you trail off and huff out angrily. “I won’t work with him.”

“Y/N,” Yuki presses harshly. “Stop being a selfish brat. This goes beyond you and your grudge. This can lead to a way to help Yuji Itadori and Satoru Gojo. Do you understand? This isn’t about you. This is about our society, our livelihood. The lives of the students you love, of the child you have, and the family you cherish. I know it isn’t something you want, but it’s something you have to do.”

She’s…right. Even if it hurts to admit, she’s completely right.

“What do you have in mind?” You grumble and basically hear her smile.

“Thatta girl. Well,” she sighs. “It’s a secret mission to kill Yuji Itadori.”

Your face falls and you quickly spat back. “You’re insane. Being stuck in one place has made you insane. I’m not—I made a promise that I don’t intend to break. He’s a kid too who deserves—”

“Okkotsu won’t really kill him,” she cuts you off. “He’ll bring him close to death and revive him at that exact moment. It’s an easy and quick mission and all I need from you is you to lead Itadori to the trap.”

You shake your head and pull out a cigarette to slide it in between your lips. “Yeah, remember the brother I told you about? He doesn’t leave his side, and the only time he does is when he’s with me—”

“Doing what?” Yuki teases, making you scrunch your nose in disgust at her behavior.

“When we're talking, when we’re hanging out,” you explain yourself, but she laughs nonetheless.

“Ah, I see. I do. And it’s okay. It’s been too long for you, you’re drying—”

“I’ll burn you,” you blurt with annoyance. “Shut up. It’s…hm. We’re friends, so focus. How do I get rid of the brother?”

Yuki hums. “You don’t have to, Okkotsu can handle him as long as you let him. All that needs to happen is you leading him to the right spot to let Okkotsu work.”

You give your back to the door and light the cigarette in between your lips. “They’ll expect me to fight with them, I can’t just let them think that I’m betraying them,” you bring up and draw in a puff.

“That’s where Miguel comes in,” Yuki says, making you feign a laugh and shake your head.

“I’m not talking to Miguel,” you sneer. “He lied to me. They both did. For months they kept Noritoshi a secret. And it’s not that I'm angry about that, I’m angry because they didn’t tell me. They didn’t trust me enough to tell me.”

“Y/n,” Yuki sighs. “You know that’s not it.”

You drag in a deep puff and let all the smoke come out first before you comment on the matter. “It doesn’t matter. They still didn’t tell me. They thought they were doing the right thing but ended up making the wrong choice.”

“Well,” Yuki mutters. “Suck it up. He’ll pull you away and you’ll follow him alone. Can your boys let that happen?”

You hesitate to answer even if the answer is obvious. “Yes,” you whisper and drop your head. “So when does it all go down?”

“The ninth,” she reveals. “Just live a normal day, don’t bring up any suspicion. And in the evening when it’s time, Okkotsu or Miguel will text you.”

You scratch your forehead with your cigarette in between your manicured fingers and sigh with frustration. “All right, but I better be closer to getting my brother back after this.”

“Yeah, that’s the plan too,” she assures you. “I promise we’ll get him out.”

You nod and stick the cigarette back in between your lips. “All right, master, I understand what needs to be done.”

Yuki hums gleefully. “Good girl. I swear it’ll all be worth it okay?”

“Mh-hm.”

“Don’t try to kill Okkotsu, okay? Chin up, and tough it out like I taught you.”

You muster a soft smile and nod. “Yeah, yeah.”

“Put that damn cigarette out,” she scolds you without even needing to see you committing the act.

“Eh,” you groan.

“Goodnight, I’ll call you tomorrow,” she says.

“Goodbye, and I’ll look forward to it,” you redirect.

Yuki scoffs softly. “You better.”

You share a soft laugh and proceed to hang up the phone first. Once you’re surrounded by the silence of the hall you avoid looking out the door and grumble to yourself out of frustration, “damn it.”

——

*A COUPLE DAYS LATER*

“Okay now it’s your turn, I can’t be the only one talking,” you tell Choso as you stop in the vegetable section to look at some cabbages. “The question doesn’t have to be too thought out. Something…” you trail off and peer back. “Simple.”

You return your gaze to the cabbages and pick up one to study its quality. Once you’re sure it’s good, you bag the cabbage and turn to place it in the cart, noticing that Choso is still thinking hard. But rather than filling the silence while his head tries to come up with something, you grab the edge of the cart and continue forward until you remember something and turn around sharply.

“Sorry I need something from the front before I forget it,” you throw out hurryingly.

Choso doesn’t complain and continues to push the cart as he continues on thinking as if it’s some damn test.

“Just say a question man,” you hurry him up.

However, you reach the aisles by the checkout stations and he still doesn’t think of something.

“Ahh,” you fawn over what you find. “Momiji Manju!” You show off to Choso excitedly. “The only reason I like the fall is for these. Which is why I’m getting all three flavors.” You throw multiple packages in the cart and Choso finally interjects.

“I have one…”

“About time,” you mumble and grab the cart to guide him away.

“Uh…what’s your favorite color?” He asks.

You look at him with an excited smile and compliment his simple question. “That’s a good one. And mine will have to be brown,” you reveal and look at the target you’re driving him to. “But like a rich brown. The kind of brown when it’s hit by the sun. That brown. It's like it’s holding the sun,” you muse and look back at him with a soft smile.

Choso hums, and you point your chin at him. “What about you?” You redirect.

Choso shrugs. “I don’t know. I don’t have one.”

You laugh softly. “Just say the first one that comes to mind. I know you have one.”

Choso averts his gaze and sighs deeply before he parts his lips and blurts. “Red.”

You hum and walk back to be at his side. “You know,” you add smugly. “That you can tell a lot about someone by their favorite color?”

Choso’s eyebrows furrow slightly.

“Red,” you continue. “It means that you’re passionate, fierce, impulsive, and powerful. Which,” you point at him. “All fits with you.”

Choso’s cheeks grow red and his chest rises as he holds your gaze.

“And brown,” you add. “Well, I can’t say because it’d be biased.” You chuckle and snap your attention to the sunglasses rack to skip over there and take two to put one on you, and then return to Choso.

“Look at me,” you order, and he listens right away, letting you easily slide on the sunglasses over his eyes. “Wow,” you beam. “Look at us. I think this deserves a picture.”

You pull your phone out and quickly press the camera app before you throw your arm around his shoulders and press your cheek against his to snap a picture of him and you.

After you take a couple you check on them and press on the one you like the most.

“Cute,” you show off with a happy smile.

The corner of Choso’s lips tug to a faint smile but you don’t linger on his sweet gesture because your heart is already over the moon and you’ve been doing a terrible job to discourage your heart and mind from swooning any further.

“Hey, uh,” you bring up nervously and turn the cart to head back to the aisles. “What did Itadori want again?”

Paper crinkles before Choso answers. “Chips, and instant noodles.”

You hum, “well we’ll get his noodles right now and his chips when we’re on our way to pay. Do you want anything? I’ve noticed you like snacking on peanuts, we can get them.”

“Uh…no,” he says bashfully. “It’s all right.”

You slow down as you roll in an aisle and pick up some chicken. “How about meatballs tonight, hm?” You ask.

“Yeah sure,” he answers nonchalantly so you get discouraged and put the chicken back to instead continue moving forward, leaving Choso puzzled.

“I don’t understand,” he mutters.

“Yeah sure,” you mock him. “It’s okay if you don’t want some. We can make something else,” you argue and he’s only more confused.

“I said yes,” he counters.

“But not with much enthusiasm, it’s like when you ask me if I want to play chess,” you bring up. “And I say “I suppose,” so you double check with me until I say “yes”. Do you understand now?”

Choso sighs and nods. “Yes.”

“We can make something else, sushi maybe, or rice balls, stir fry?” You suggest.

“Meatballs are fine,” he says, making you peer back to tease him.

“How hard was that?”

Choso draws out a deep breath and groans quietly, making you snicker.

Alas, your amusement falls when your phone buzzes and you see Miguel sent you a message.

Miguel: Be out by 6. I’ll send a general location, and the street I’ll be on so we can go off and talk.

A frown forms on your lips and no matter how much you want to deny him or leave him on seen you answer, dryly.

You: ok

“Are you…all right?” Choso catches you off guard.

You put your phone away and look at him with a feigned assuring smile. “Yeah, just messages from people at home. That’s all.” You lie, and he studies your face hard, but ultimately catches nothing so he doesn’t probe.

“We can go out hunting for curses before dinner, that way we have more of an appetite,” you try to make an excuse for your plan.

“Yes that’s fine, I don’t mind,” he falls for it with ease, which makes you feel bad because you can’t tell him what’s going on even if as if late you’ve found that you don’t hide much from him, and he doesn’t have anything to hide so he’s always honest with you. And how are you repaying that now?

By not being honest about this.

And you know it’s not some big important secret that will make anyone upset, but you still feel bad that he’s out of the loop over plans centered around his own brother.

“Itadori and Noritoshi mentioned you’re popular,” Choso brings up hesitantly. “Are you sure you won’t be spotted by your family?”

You shake your head with a small smile painted on your features and ignore how your heart just gushed by his concern. “Nah, we’ll be out of the store and on our way home if they do see anything anyway…what else did Noritoshi say about me?” You can’t help but query.

Choso stays quiet for a moment before he shares with rising anger detectable in his usual nonchalant tone. “He didn’t share much. My theory is that he did that on purpose so we could believe his role as your husband Suguru Geto.”

You drop your head and confess above a whisper. “Yeah, and his mistake was that Suguru would never bring up the idea to hurt me.”

“Well he was surrounded by the disaster curses that only knew the things that would come out of his mouth,” he grumbles. “He manipulated all of us.”

You glance over at him and see that he has his fists clenched and his face scrunched with anger.

“Fathers really are the worst,” you try to comfort him by relating to him whilst you take the sunglasses off and fiddle with them.

“Yes…they are,” Choso quietly agrees, causing you to lift your head to look at him.

And the moment your eyes land on him and you see him still wearing the sunglasses, you can’t help but grin at him as you find him adorable and hot.

Choso doesn’t notice your obvious admiring stare and the only reason you expose yourself is by grabbing his wrist. “Cho,” you pull his attention to you so you can capture a picture of him.

“Look at that you’re photogenic,” you point out and show him the off-guard photo that makes him blush and look away.

You smirk even if you shouldn’t be so proud and giddy. “Just a couple more things and we can head out,” you let him know.

Nevertheless, after doing what you said, the moment you get back to the apartment complex you both come to an empty house and a note in the kitchen left by Itadori

“You guys took too long. I headed out to hunt curses. -Yuji.”

Damn, damn.

“We could get start dinner—”

“No,” you cut Choso off and rush towards your room to change into better shoes since that’s all the time you have to spare, you keep on your light long-sleeved two-piece set—“Let’s go find him first.”

He better not be far or else this could end up ruining the damn plan.

You to Miguel: Sudden change of plans, heading out now, I’ll send my location soon. Be on standby.

Once you’re outside you depend on Choso to use his technique to lead you to Itadori without trying to be too pushy or suspicious.

However, perhaps you aren’t good at masking your emotions, or Choso got good at reading you after living with you in a small apartment for 9 days. “Is everything alright?” He asks.

You turn your phone off after sending Miguel your location and nod eagerly. “Yeah, yeah. Why the concern?” You ask with a narrowed and questioning gaze.

Choso’s eyes study your gaze before he responds. “Every time you check your mobile device you seem to grow upset.”

His attention to detail catches you off guard, and it makes you want to share the plan with him, but it’s so close to being over so you tough it out.

“Just my family trying to talk to me,” you share a partial truth. “I still don’t feel like talking to them, but they’re pushy, and it’s pissing me off. That’s all.”

Choso holds your gaze and nods with hesitation. “Oh…okay.”

You hum and quickly focus your attention ahead. “We’re coming close to a tunnel. Is he close?”

“Yes, very close,” he says and picks up his pace to turn the corner and walk down to the tunnel, letting you pull your phone back out to update Miguel.

You: Approaching the tunnel.

You hit send as you turn the corner, and keep your attention on the phone to wait for a reply.

Miguel: I’m on my way. Be there in five.

You sigh deeply and put your phone away to refocus on the matter ahead, seeing now that there’s large monster-like curses in the tunnel and Itadori is getting chased by them.

“Choso!” Itadori yells out.

You run over and get ready to help, but just as you lift a finger Choso claps his hands together and mutters a cursed technique. “piercing blood.”

In the blink of an eye, blood shoots out of Choso’s hands, and impales multiple curses right through the head, managing to exorcize all but one with ease.

So with the desire to help, you break into a sprint. And just as you’re about to reach Choso’s side you slide forward as you summon wind.

“Lashing wind,” you mutter your technique maliciously and lash a gust of wind out towards a red four-legged curse that exorcizes them.

“Yuji,” Choso calls out.

However, before he can finish what he wanted to say a curse with wings catches you all off guard.

Alas, just as Choso and you get ready to fight it, Itadori sprints over at an impressive speed and rams his fist through the curse, sending it back against a cement wall and spilling blood with his punch alone. He doesn’t even need to swing another time, the curse dies and turns to nothing but smoke, leaving you impressed. Even after seeing him do the same moves for the past 9 days.

“As impressive as ever little brother,” Choso interjects as he walks over to him.

“Are you still calling me that?” Itadori counters.

You walk towards them slowly as you wait for Miguel to show up.

“I’ll keep calling you that, over and over,” Choso tells him seriously. “Try to recollect, after all, your father had stitches on his forehead didn’t he?”

Before Itadori can answer, your name is called out, “Y/N!”

You look back with dread and meet Miguel’s gaze just a few feet away.

“Damn,” you mumble and look at Choso and Itadori while you start walking towards Miguel. “I’ll be right back, all right?”

Choso steps forward and looks at you with a hardened concerned look. “Do you want us to come with you?”

You shake your head. “No, I’ll catch up with you two. I won’t take long.”

Choso seems hesitant and cautious as he glances over at Miguel, but he doesn’t argue.

“All right,” he mutters. “If you need help, let us know.”

You can’t help but smile faintly. “I will,” you assure him. “But I’ll be okay. He’s family.”

You face Miguel as you get closer to him, but feel the need to look back so you do so and catch Itadori and Choso watching you retreat.

Which makes you feel bad for what’s about to happen, but it’s for the greater good, so you suck it up and follow the plan.

“Okkotsu?” You ask Miguel when you’re by his side.

“He’ll be here,” he says. “He’s close by.”

.

.

.

.

.

A/N- Choso and Mc try not to make it obvious that you guys are pining over each other challenge—IMPOSSIBLE—Also Naoya interaction next chapter 🤔

Tagged- @deniseabad1928 @secondary-character-25 @starlightanyaaa @notsaelty @d4rno @moonnime @kodzukein @yozora7154 @heijihattorisgf @elegantweirdorchest

[snailsgoingdowntown]

Oooh oooh I have one!

Can you please do a one-shot smut for Zhongli x Reader (They/Them if it's alright with you) in an Office AU where they do it during their lunch break? Bonus if Itto accidentally stumbles upon them afterwards because it would be absolutely hilarious.

Only if you feel like it because I know life is exhausting. Please take care of yourself. ^3^

–♠️

This was written in a rush because I have things going on. No pronouns were used, but ik this anon irl (they’re just shy to reveal their face), so that is the only reason I’m doing an afab with gn pronouns for this. For anyone else though, please keep in mind that:

I do NOT write for male readers in any shape or form.

ALL not sfw works will ALWAYS be written with a FEMALE reader in mind.

Thank you for reading the above and please keep those rules in mind when requesting. You’d be surprised at the amount of requests I get which breaks nearly all rules in just one go. I am happy you send them in, but please read my rules beforehand. Thank you.

Zhongli x afab! Reader

No pronouns were used, but the body is that of a female autotomy.

Not-sfw warnings: office intercourse, unprotected intercourse, being walked in on.

Blog contains dark content/dead dove don’t eat. Dni if you are uncomfortable with said content.

Minors/blank blogs dni or you’ll be blocked.

I hope you enjoy this!

==

Lunch break was to end in thirty minutes.

Thirty minutes to eat, as you should, unpacking your lunch in the small cafeteria instead of being pressed against the wall, losing your breath as Zhongli kisses you. It was gentle, innocent at first, a simple peck. And it was supposed to remain at that, not develop into something deeper, breathless, his tongue swiping over your teeth as you cling onto the outer jacket of his suit. You made no protest when he gently backed you into the wall.

Distantly, you can hear the chatter of people passing by the door, and while you should be worried about someone opening the door and seeing the scene before them, the moment his lips travel to your neck, pressing against your sweet spot. You could no longer think straight. So, you let him suck lightly, enough to feel the suction that draws a hushed whimper from your kiss-swollen lips, but soft enough to not leave any type of physical evidence.

With the last remaining braincell containing commonsense, you quietly thank him for making sure to close the door.

It doesn’t take long for your pencil skirt to be bundled up at your waist, panties pushed aside. His own pants were unzipped, cock out, and with enough prep, he slid in oh so painfully good. As always, it stung a bit, felt heavy even, whispering for him to remain still lest he hurt you. He does as you say.

“You’re… you’re never like this at work. What’s gotten into you?” You breathe out, muscles relax as the second’s pass. Looking behind him, you spot the clock on the opposite wall. You now have fifteen minutes.

“Mm, I should have waited. We could have taken our time, then,” voice as smooth as ever, Zhongli kisses your lower jaw, trailing his lips until it reaches the pulse of your neck. And then he travels lower until he’s at the juncture and nibbles it. “But… I just couldn’t resist you today, it seems. I apologize for acting out of character, but even I have moments of weakness.”

“At work of all places?” you giggle out, only for it to melt into a moan, Zhongli slowly pulling out before gently thrusting back into your very welcoming cunt. “Mm, we only have fifteen minutes… I’m not sure if we can finish on time – “

When his thrusts become harsher, more passionate, you find yourself breathless, unable to think straight, and for a moment, you really do think that you’re about to suffocate. Apparently, your brain decided that focusing on mind-melting pressure was more important than taking in gulps of air. Another thrust has your fingers digging into his shoulders, letting one of his hands hold up your leg for better access.

Even though it aches, you remain silent on the matter, eyes shutting tight as you let the pleasure overtake you. However, part of your mind is still there, and thus, you bite your lower lip, suppressing any sinful noises that may leak through the walls and doors.

But you couldn’t do anything about the skin slapping against skin, but to keep the pace as slow as possible, trying to build up to your climax.

Ah, but before you could even reach the pleasurable buildup, lower belly tightening and clit throbbing, the door opens.

“Oh, hey, have you seen –,”

The door slams closed immediately afterwards.

It wasn’t until the next day where you saw Itto, his face red and awkward around the two of you. And it wasn’t until later that you found out he left his phone behind in the office, and that at first, it was going to be Shinobu who was going to look for it.

Perhaps this was a sign to never do such a thing in the office ever again.

[bangsinc]

Are we allowed to ask for some BTAS!Scarecrow x Reader? That character definitely deserves more love! But I totally get it if we can’t!

🎃More Scarecrow x Reader (HCS)🦴

UHMMM YES! I’m gunna be super honest, I’d much rather write for BTAS than Spider-Man.. this makes me very happy :3 I love Batman.. he’s my meow meow,,

Also I agree! Nobody writes for him (I kinda wish someone wrote for a goth reader w him too ngl)… no warnings! Also I wrote a lot,,, sorry. I GOT SO EXCITED TO WRITE ABT BTAS

Jonathan Crane was a man of many faces. He’d been a professor, a villian, but.. never a lover. He’d never dabbled in the dating scene for many reasons. He’d never been considered attractive for one, and additionally, his chosen profession, age, and introverted nature seemed like major obstacles in the pursuit of romance.. To think he could still make someone swoon for him was.. flattering? He’s not sure what to make of it initially.

After the initial first meet, he can’t seem to stop thinking of you. Your memory lingers in his mind like a song stuck in his head. Your voice was a melody only he felt he should be able to cherish, and your apperance was almost ethereal. It’s not that he felt out of your league but.. he really did.

His mind, and morals seem to get the better of him in this situation. He truly has no man or woman he can turn to in a time of desperation, as he’d disclosed himself off from mostly everybody. His own mind became a mentor, and he decided to follow its adivce well.

He begins, slowly, to go out of his way to see you. He’s quiet and especially awkward, not used to being on the giving end of starting a conversation. Many other professors almost look in shock if they’re able to see such a display of subtle affection. What had gotten into this man?

His students for the most part notice his change in demeanor. He’d been a good professor for the most part, quiet and honestly a bit too interested in fear to their liking.. but never outright happy? He was an older man, who’d they’d figured lost the spark he initially had in his job.. they think of themselvs as wrong from that point foreward.

The more your newly found and unexpected friendship progresses, Jonathan finds himself unintentionally opening up to you more and more, spilling facts about both him and what interested him in his profession. He keeps this side of him hidden at first, worried he’d regress to his younger years and scare you away.

The most suprising part about this new friendship is how much he trusts you, however. He’d initially thought of himself as closed off, and if anyone were to try and come close he’d simply push them away. But.. he does let you touch him playfully, nudge him, tease him.. he doesn’t mind it one bit, even though if it was anyone else he’d be bound to lose his temper.

Side note but I would imagine it being funny if you were unintentionally pushing him around slightly, like you bring him into a hug and he literally is so fucking fragile he just can’t breathe 😭

Might offhandedly ask you for your fears, and while he initially imagines what would become if he were to see you in a state of fear.. he somehow stops himself. This was the one actually good thing to become of his life in a big time. Sure, the obsession with fear was a lovely distraction, but what he needed the most was a connection with someone.. so, from that point foreward, he made a little vow to try and keep you away from any of his harmful hobbies.

A confession with him could go many ways. If he were the one to confess his feelings, it would take years. He’d need to know truly know you and your character. Your personality thick and thin, your downsides and upsides, your interests and hobbies.. hed need to be able to recite anything about you from memory, and have an almost spiritual bond in that sence.

A setting for him would also be rather specific. He isnt fond of the rain unless a thunderstorm is in its wake, a common fear, and he certainly isn’t a fan of sunny and warm weather.. fall would be perferred. Perhaps a rather warmer day of fall, the leaves a golden brown and bright yellow. Perhaps he’d take you to a park, or maybe you’d both find someplace nice and isolated to sit. The sun would barely shine over the pearly white clouds, creating a slightly dim atmosphere. An atmosphere he felt the most comfortable in.

Hes not exactly a poetic type, and feelings for him have always been complicated and hard to come by. For Jonathan, gestures say more than words, but obviously he would need to do more to confess his feelings twoards you.

He’d be more.. gentle the day he confesses to you. He has no intention to go on a mindless rant, and he looks incredibly nervous and uneasy. He wasn’t used to feeling nervous, if anything he had figured those emotions were something he controlled and could control on others.

—————————————

🎃Post Confession:

You wouldn’t be reading this if you rejected him, so let’s just go to the dating Headcanons! I have a lot for post scsrecrow jon too, don’t worry this all isn’t going to be professor crane lol.

He was undeniably a sentimental lover, his emotions in a constant state of flux. He’s very doting, very gentle and.. very touchy. It’s rather difficult for a man shunned affection in his early years to keep his hands off of someone willing to provide him with such a gesture.

Constant, maybe even unintentional touching. A hand on your thigh, or one on top of your hand as you sit together. There seems to always be a contented smile on his face in moments where it’s only you. He’s not a grumpy, reclusive man, and doesn’t feel the need to be.

Of course.. he wouldn’t have become the Scarecrow if he didn’t get fired from his previous job for his malpractice. The initial reaction was of course fury, and while he tried to contain the pent up emotions and bitter hatred he held for the Dean of Gotham university after the confrontation, he needed someone to talk to.

His initial reaction is to go straight to your home, not without multiple texts and calls, him frantically panicking and shouting about how all of his hard work and research was spent at a place he wasn’t appreciated at.. he was leaving details out, yes, but what you didn’t know surely wouldn’t hurt you..

If you two live together, he’s most likely going to hurriedly drive back to your shared apartment/house a complete and utter wreck, not even able to speak as his anger fuels all of his emotions.

Either way, he’s got his mind set on one goal now. He’s going to make the university pay, and he’s finally going to do what he loved. You were the only person he could trust, the only person he could count on. You try and be there to lend a loving hand in such a time of desperation, but he’s too far into his own world now. He still tries to be as loving as he can, but something seems off.. he’s definitely keeping a secret, and the more he seems to be hiding the more a sort of trust is broken between the two of you. A big factor as to why he did keep it a secret in the first place was the fear of you being hurt in the process of his own endeavors. He kept reminding himself that what you didn’t know would keep you safe, from the police, from his experiments, and from himself..

He comes to the realization that, if he does want this to work he’d need to let you in, even if you’d be upset over the initial anger he’d been living a double life. Of course, you probably were, but that slightly dampened trust was thankfully built between the two of you again. So what if you were going to date an aspired villian? You loved him, and he did kinda make good cinnamon muffins when you were sad.

His first mission (This would be taking place during his debut episode in Batman the Animated Srries!) was a simple one, sabatoge something, perhaps Gotham university. It was a widely spread crime, one that nobody was sure there was a motive for.. but there was.

I’m the span of his first two crimes, before his first robbery and getaway, he’d aqqired some goons. With the goons came a small name for himself in Gothams underworld, and with that came the need to form an alter ego. All of it was one game of dominos, fueled by revenge and desire. During these events, he’s.. awfully clingy, suprisingly. You’re the only person he can rely on, espically while he’s building a name for himself. He thinks his henchmen are dimwitted dropouts, and that the other criminals would never understand him like you do.

His goons are practically on your hand and foot, wether you like it or not. He’s made it very, very clear two his two main henchmen that your problems were his problems, and that he was never one to let his darling suffer. So.. congrats, you’ve gained two butlers, who work for free..

His goons were so, so suprised he cared about someone other than himself and his goals. The way he talked about you was a drastic difference from the way he talked about them, or anyone else for that matter.

Jonathan isnt shy to boast about his significant other, and many would think you two were an older married couple with the way he presented himself in your company. He’s the master of fear now, and you’re his Mistress/Beau.

Maybe it’s my own bias speaking, but your love would definitely shift into a more gothic and meloncholic undertone. Dates are eerie and poetic, and he serenades you the best way he can.. telling you about how you and him are to rule the world. You and him are two lovers destined to make the world bow at their feet as you both dance on the debris of a destroyed civilization.

His words are sincere, his devotion seeping through every sentence.

“People shall be screaming Hosannas in our name. They will kiss the ground we walk on, hand in hand, my love.”

He’s.. very overdramatic. But he does mean it.

Now when he robs banks, despite his initial claims that he’s not in it for the money, he does end up pocketing some from his goons. Now he does have someone he could be supporting, and at this rate in both of your lives, you either are living together or he’s living at your place so the police can’t catch onto him as easy. He’d like to make your life a little easier, anything for his little raven.

Strangely domestic, as if you two had been married for years. He gives you nicknames in a large supply, his favorites ones that most would deem to be ‘spooky’ or unconventional. My Raven, Adrienne, my flame, etc… might be a sucker for pumpkin too, both being called it and calling you it. You hardly get called your name the more and more you’re together.

You’d fallen in love with a villian, a villian willing to destroy cities in your name, you scare and terrify those who try to get in your way.. congratulations ;)

[undertheopensky]

Portals Do Not Like Four (the feeling continues to be mutual)

Whumptober Day 14: Water Inhalation

Characters: Four, Legend, Warriors

Trigger warnings: Drowning, vomiting

Read on Ao3!

Missed the first instalment? Read here!

-----

Warriors’ shout of surprise nearly drowns him.

There had been a moment of freefall and then impact, cold and stinging. Water rushing up his noise and into his mouth and eyes; he has to clamp down on the instinct to cough, instead struggling up towards the weak light of dawn against the weight of his mail.

Warriors breaks the surface and starts to cough.

He’s not the first one up - with no deadweight armour Wind’s strong swimming skills probably granted him that win, with Twilight and Wild close behind. And Wild - has a grip on Hyrule’s collar, good, the traveller is their weakest swimmer and could use the help. Sky surfaces nearby, spluttering and suffering the same weighty problem as Wars. Goddess, mail makes swimming so much harder.

Legend’s voice is somewhere behind him bitching continuously about getting wet and some warning would have been nice. Wind chimes in with loud agreement. Finally, Time pops up, half-drowned and armour missing - they’ll probably have to retrieve that later, damn -

Wind Twilight Wild Hyrule Sky Legend Time -

Seven.

His heart goes cold.

No no no no no -

“Four!” he shouts. “Does anyone have eyes on Four?!”

Complaining transforms into cursing as they all realise the same thing he had.

Four’s reaction to portals has not gotten better. He and Hyrule have been experimenting in hopes of finding a way to reduce the effects, with little success. Every trip is punctuated by Four collapsing insensate for at least twenty minutes, locked in his own mind by something none of them understand. They’ve resorted to having someone keep a hand on him as they walk through portals so they can catch him, since Four refuses to be carried like an invalid.

But this portal had taken them utterly by surprise. One second they’re walking down Batrean Lake trail, the next they’re materialising ten feet above Lake Hylia.

Four is a competent enough swimmer, not as fast as Wind or even Time. But with the abrupt portal switch, into deep water?

Four will drown, unless they can find him in time.

He’s hit with the image of Four sinking slowly through dark water, eyes blank and hair drifting, vanishing forever into the mud.

Warriors shakes himself, takes as deep a breath as the weight of the water will allow, and dives.

The water is dark and murky. All he can see are blurs: the shadow of a rock, a blob of tightly-clustered water plants, a flash of brighter blue that was Wind struggling to keep himself underwater and search. The mail is actually helping with that, Wars realises with grim humour.

Red and gold and streaming pink; the colours can only be Legend, and of course the vet has something for underwater speed. Wars feels only vague envy and hopes it helps them find Four. Too blurry to make out more than his outline, too-large and shimmering at the edges. He’s out of air - he needs to breathe -

Fuck Four’s been under so much longer -

You can’t help Four if you need rescuing yourself, he reminds himself, and kicks upwards.

At the surface he takes a moment to scan around in the hope that someone else had found him - but all he sees is Twilight coming up for a brief gasp himself, and Hyrule very slowly doggy-paddling himself towards the shallows.

Wars takes two quick, deep breaths, and dives again.

His eyes sting. Water burns in his sinuses, making it even harder to focus. Wars swims, scanning the lakebed for colour and movement and catching sight of the others doing the same, spread out to cover more ground. He’s not finding anything, and the stress is making his chest tighter than the lack of air, and he’s not losing someone now, not over something so stupid -

Then he spots the pink and gold of Legend streaking for the surface, dragging a bundle of jewel-bright colour in his wake. Desperate hope buoys him upwards to break the surface one last time.

“I’ve got him!” he hears Legend shout, and his heart leaps. “Everyone head for shore!”

The vet kicks off, still with that amazing speed. Pink and gold flashes above water for a second, presumably his item; Wars isn’t focused on it. He’s too busy counting heads as they pop back up, calling to let them know Legend had found Four, and making sure they don’t lose anyone else to the depths of the lake, chivvying them along to the water’s edge.

By the time they make it there Legend and Four are out of the water. Warriors staggers out of the lake in time to see Legend slam his joined hands into Four’s back.

Four chokes, and vomits a truly astounding amount of murky lake water. Then he starts to cough.

Near-drowning is never pleasant. Warriors still remembers, with chill horror, falling off a collapsing bridge into a river in full plate, and being fished out by Impa with half the river in his lungs. Four’s at least somewhat aware when he drops into these fugue states, and that’s even more horrifying - to be aware of the danger, of your own death looming, and unable to so much as hold your breath to stave it off.

And the after is almost worse. Struggling to pull in air and having your lungs viciously reject it because it’s laced with water. Needing air for the next cough, and not getting it, chest pulling tighter and tighter as more air wheezes out, knowing the whole time it would be fine if you could just get one good breath.

Wars staggers over and drops to his knees, planting a hand on Four’s back to feel him breathe. Thank the goddess, they’d been in time. Legend had been in time.

Four chokes up another trickle of water. “Can’t -” he wheezes between coughs - “can’t breathe -”

“I know, I know,” Wars says, rubbing his back. It’s something of a lie: in fact, if Four has the breath to speak, even barely, he’s not in danger. He’s getting enough air, however unpleasant the experience. “Keep going, you’ve got this.”

His next inhale catches on the wetness still in his lungs and Four convulses, gaping like a landed fish.

Wars’ hand comes down and thumps him hard across the shoulders. Four coughs and gasps and he’s back to squeaky, desperate breaths but he’s breathing.

Wind stumbles out of the water. He has to shake off the stringy plant still clinging to his foot before he trips over it. “You got him? Is he okay? Can I help?” Right behind him is Wild, half-dragging Hyrule, and Sky, all anxiously trying to check on their little smithy.

Wars has to surreptitiously wave them off. There’s nothing they can do to help, and Four won’t like being stared at. Sky, desperately needing something to do, starts organising the strongest swimmers to fetch Time’s armour, abandoned at the bottom of the lake. Time tries to help.

“I have a tunic to let me breathe,” he says, “once I change I’ll be fine. The more hands the better for a search like this.”

“You’re lucky you didn’t wind up like Four, old man, now sit down,” Sky orders.

Time sits down.

Hyrule also sits down, because he’s not an idiot, and starts checking his bag to make sure the waterproofing held. Time, after a delay, follows suit, fumbling at the buckles with hands that shake.

Wars makes a note to check the old man’s breathing, too, once Four is out of danger.

Slowly, Four’s coughs start to ease. He can take a gasping breath or two before being overcome by another brief fit. Wars sits with him, hand on his back, murmuring soothing nonsense, until his breathing settles into an actual rhythm. His face is wet with lake water and tears. He still looks dazed, and Wars honestly doesn’t know if it’s a holdover from the portal or he’s just exhausted after almost-drowning.

Twilight drops a muddy pauldron at Time’s feet for cleaning and heads over to Wars. “How’s he doing?”

Wars waits a moment, hoping to see a flicker of response from Four, and is disappointed but not surprised to see nothing. “Alive, but shitty.”

Twilight huffs. “How many people you think are gonna get pneumonia after this?”

“At least three,” Wars mutters, and immediately hopes he hasn’t just jinxed them. Then he looks properly at Twilight. “What the fuck are you wearing.”

“Zora armour,” Twilight says. “Lets me breathe underwater to hunt down the shit Time dropped.”

“Did you wind up finding it all?”

“Yeah, between me, Wild, and Sky. Coulda used an extra set of eyes and whatever your swimming item is, though, vet.”

Legend doesn’t answer. Actually, Legend hasn’t moved since he’d first ceded medic control to Wars; he’d just sat on the other side of Four holding his hand, and looks a little blank. Fuck, he better not be having a panic attack.

“Well,” Wars says loudly, “I dunno about you, but I’m tired of looking at this lake. Everyone ready to pack up and go find somewhere to build a fire and dry off?”

And that? That does get everyone moving, even Legend. And Time, who’s not nearly as okay as he’s pretending to be over there.

This time, Four doesn’t so much as squeak in protest when Twilight picks him up.

[spencer-reids-adventures]

Sorry if this is a little overly specific but if you are okay with it, would you mind writing about after Gideon leaves, Spencer blames himself for it and the blame gradually spirals into a restriction eating disorder because he feels like he needs to better himself in any way possible. Eventually though, it becomes pretty noticeable that something is wrong as he hasn't gone out for drinks with the team in a few months and so they have an intervention with him about it.

tw: disordered eating

It starts slowly.

Gideon leaves, and Spencer is overwhelmed with guilt, certain that Gideon left because of something he did. Of course, the trauma of losing Sarah was also a factor, and Spencer knows that, believes it, but he still thinks if he had been better, if he had reached out to Gideon, if he had done something, Gideon would still be here.

At first it’s just breakfast. 

He realizes that when he wakes up he has no appetite, and so instead of forcing down a bowl of oatmeal, he just…doesn’t eat. Later, when he does start to get hungry, he just deals with it. Maybe he deserves to be hungry. Maybe it’ll help him focus more. Maybe his lack of focus is why Gideon left.

It gets worse. 

Spencer doesn’t stop eating entirely, but he stops eating in front of other people. He can’t bear the thought of him gorging himself when he’s the reason the team is down a member. He feels disgusting when he eats, grotesque. The whole process of putting food into his mouth and then chewing it up and swallowing makes him shudder.

He eats in secret, at his apartment where no one can see him, but even there, it all feels wrong. The sensations are just as bad. Somewhere deep in his brain he knows what he’s doing isn’t okay, and he does his best to nibble on nuts and fruits when he can, but it’s so, so hard.

He’s at the office one evening when JJ invites him out with the rest of the team for dinner and drinks. A hundred thousand thoughts run through his mind all at once. I can’t eat in front of them. I can’t be in front of them at all. They’re going to judge me. They’re going to hate me. I can’t I can’t I can’t I can’t I cant…

“Sorry,” he says. “Believe it or not, I’ve got other plans.”

That’s the first time he declines an invitation from his friends—his family—but it’s not the last. Over the next few months he continues to say no when they invite him out, and he continues to eat only at home, now convinced that if he could just be better, more disciplined, no one else will leave him. This is the only way to keep his friends close.

He doesn’t even realize that he’s pushing them away.

Spencer is at his desk getting ready to head home when Emily comes to tell him they’re needed in the conference room.

“Do we have a case?” Spencer asks, surprised and yet also not surprised at all.

“I guess we’ll see when we get there,” Emily shrugs, and they walk together, Emily’s hand hovering over Spencer’s back.

Once everyone is gathered at the table, Hotch clears his throat.

“Spencer,” he says. “We’re here because we’re worried about you.”

Spencer blinks and frowns. “Why?”

“You never want to go out with us anymore,” says Penelope. “And you—”

“You’re so skinny, pretty boy,” Morgan says, his voice dripping with concern. “More than usual. You… you look sick.”

“I’m fine,” Spencer says quickly. “Please, I— Don’t worry— Please, I’m fine.”

Even he can hear that he doesn’t sound fine.

“No one’s seen you eat in months,” Hotch points out gently. “Look at you, you’re shaking right now.”

Spencer glances down to see that his hands are trembling. He’s gotten so used to it, he didn’t even notice. 

“It’s nothing,” he tries again. “I’ve been a little sick. I’m feeling better now. It’s fine.”

“Spence,” JJ begs. “Please tell us what’s going on.”

Spencer puts his head in his hands so he can’t see anyone. He sits perfectly still for a long time before he finally swallows back a sob and takes a deep breath.

“It started when Gideon left,” he murmurs. “I just… I just want to be better.”

“And better means you can’t eat?” JJ asks softly.

“Eating is hard.”

“Why do you want to be better?” Emily asks.

“So no one else leaves…”

Spencer leans forward until his head is on the table, and after a moment, he feels a hand press gently onto his back. A moment later he feels another, and another, until the whole team is standing behind him, touching him. They know he doesn’t like group hugs, so this is their compromise, their way of showing that they’re here for him.

For the first time in months, Spencer lets them in.

[tokruta]

Y’all don’t even understand, I have a NEED for transfem Vader.

Transfem Anakin is also very fun and I’ll always enjoy it, but it hits different post-Mustafar.

It hits different when it’s an Anakin who expressed their gender in subtle but affirming ways, who would get the prettiest clothes from their fashionista wife, who loved their pretty long hair and enjoyed caring for it, who had a soft and lilting voice, is trapped in a hypermasculine suit, stripped of their human appearance, and given a very deep and booming mechanical voice.

It hits different when she doesn’t bother to express her gender anymore, when everyone around them either perceives them as a man or a droid, when Palpatine rubs her new agonizing existence in their face. Because Palpatine had always encouraged Anakin to express themself however they wanted (he may be a pos but he was a pos with a goal) and would sometimes gift them jewelry/accessories. And he still does this, but he exclusively gifts them hyperfeminine accessories that they no longer feel comfortable wearing or keeping, even if they could. He uses her identity against her constantly and they just numbed themself further to the point of apathy in the hopes that he drops it.

They hate looking at themself in general, but they especially hate looking at themself without the suit. All the euphoric aspects of herself that she loved were either twisted or gone. The hair, the tan, the voice, the lean yet strong musculature (decades of carrying around hundreds of pounds of extra weight really bulked them up), hell, even their eyes.

There was one time when she decided to put on the rose gold heart necklace Palpatine gifted her after a successful mission. They put it on when out of the suit, and it made them a little happy before their self hatred came back ten fold and they never did that again.

While Anakin was fairly subtle about their gender expression, they were still openly trans, so Obi-Wan knew (although they were only comfortable sharing her use of she/her pronouns with Padme. Everyone else just knew they used they/them. Palpatine knew about her use of she/her bc he’s a pos who invaded her privacy constantly).

Owen and Beru were vaguely aware that she was trans (Obi-Wan did correct their pronoun use) but not necessarily enough to really explain it well to Luke beyond “your father was trans and used they/them pronouns, idk the specifics”. So Luke knew the basics, but it never went beyond that. He’d alternate between parent and father, but tended to default to father if only because he wasn’t told about Anakin’s gender identity until he was in his teens. (There was no particular reason for this, they just generally didn’t talk about Anakin. It’s not like anyone in Luke’s daily life knew them. And the Lars’s use of “they” went unnoticed by Luke until much later)

So when Obi-Wan told Luke about Anakin, Luke was able to ask someone who knew them more about them. As Obi-Wan didn’t have the full picture, Luke only really learned a few more details, and he was initially more interested in her life as a Jedi than anything else, really. Can’t really blame him there, he was under the impression that he’d have more time to learn about Anakin from a primary source and who cares about gender when you can have a lightsaber!

Anyway, my mind keeps going to a Vader lives au where Luke and Anakin grow closer, Luke helps Anakin ditch the suit, and as Anakin grows used to being out of it, they end up growing angsty. Luke already told Anakin he’s aware of their trans identity, but Anakin hasn’t shared everything. They aren’t comfortable going by she/her anymore (not yet) and as they slowly get healthier (the sun livening up their skin, their prosthetics replaced with better models, surgeries allowing for more independent breathing, therapy) the more upset they get about their hair not growing back.

They’re more so upset that they’re upset. After everything, they’re losing their cool about being bald?! But the visible progress got their hopes up, they’re relationship with Luke got them to start expressing themself more, and their hair was one of their most favorite things about themself. It starts getting to them and they begin to perceive it as a punishment. Of course they shouldn’t get to grow their hair back, they were Darth MF Vader for over 2 decades! Why should they have hair?!

Luke notices their distress and doesn’t know what to do (he tried asking them but Anakin isn’t there yet, they aren’t ready to tell him). He dreams, and Padme comes to him in those dreams to communicate the problem. Well, not everything, just that they are distressed about their hair refusing to grow back. Or maybe instead of that, Luke manages to unlock this information from Anakin’s tragic backstory. This option takes much longer.

Anyway, unsure of how to solve this, he goes to Leia as she’s the resident hair expert. She and Anakin aren’t close, she tolerates their existence and they mourn what could have been. They don’t speak to each other more than necessary. Regardless, Leia is a compassionate person and she can see the toll it takes on Luke and Anakin. She feels nothing positive towards Anakin, but her disdain won’t interfere with her morals so she helps.

She suggests Luke buy them a wig, so they enlist the help of R2 (they know R2 was once close to Anakin) and get Anakin a very high quality wig that they can style however they want. Anakin doesn’t know what to do. At first they refuse it (punishment, remember?) but Luke manages to eventually convince them to at least try it on. He guilts them by using his concern for their well-being.

The wig breaks something in them, the last trace of the walls they built over 2 decades come crashing down. They feel a wave of euphoria and despair, glee and misery, gratitude and guilt. They’re feeling all over the place but they can’t stop staring at their reflection. It’s so obviously different than it was when they were 22, yet it was one of the best things they’d ever seen. They felt like they had themself back, standing there wearing the beautiful wig, their children further back watching them, nothing but support on their faces.

Anakin retreats for a bit after that. They make sure to tell Luke they’re okay, they just need some alone time. Once they re-emerge, Anakin is finally able to tell Luke she also uses she/her pronouns and identifies as transfem. Luke supports her 100% and is aggressively supportive when she gradually starts wearing more feminine clothing out and about (he’s aggressively supportive of her presence among the rebels regardless, but this is different). It’s not that he’s worried people will be transphobic towards them, exactly, but he’s hyper aware of how people see Anakin and doesn’t want to see her stop being herself because she perceived something as a slight against her (and, alternatively, he doesn’t want her to scare/threaten people when their current status amongst the rebels/new republic is so fragile).

I don’t know what it is but transfem Vader/Anakin just hits different from transmasc and I need it.